He Doesn't Leave Me {Sabbath Bread}

Some Red Letters for your Sabbath today.

They didn’t know he was speaking about his Father. So Jesus said to them, “When the Human One is lifted up, then you will know that I Am. Then you will know that I do nothing on my own, but I say just what the Father has taught me.  He who sent me is with me. He doesn’t leave me by myself, because I always do what makes him happy.” While Jesus was saying these things, many people came to believe in him. -John 8:27-30 (CEB)

Oh Lord,we choose to trust Your unfailing, divine, everlasting love more than our fears. Thank You for never leaving us alone, though at times it does feel lonely here. Now. In this. You speak truth, Jesus, truth from the Father on human lips that once kissed Your mother and once kissed Judas too. Because You became a person we could see and hear, we now know who the Father is, and the truth of salvation by Your grace. Make me more like you, Jesus - I want to do what makes the Father happy too. Thank You for being with me, Spirit, and for carrying me when I'm weak. Thank You for making me strong to say what You have taught me. I choose to lift You high in my life, and dedicate my attention to learning how to do that even better. May You be honored today. And every day. Until That Day when You come back to rescue us. So let it be. 

photo credit: Vishal Patel via flickr creative commons

As Awful as Women Can Be to Each Other...

I've had those kinds of girlfriends, if you can call them that. The kind who compete and degrade out of the wells of insecurity. The kind who hug you only to find the soft spot in your back for their knife. The kind who laugh at you behind your back because mercy is harder than gossip. The kind who reach for you with greedy hands instead of giving ones.

God has asked me to love those kind of friends. I may or may not have failed. Several times.

And He has also given me in extravagance a different kind of woman. The kind of friend who covers my multitudes of faults with grace. The kind who looks into my heart and really listens to it. The kind who talks to my face and to my soul rather than behind my back. The kind who seeks to be generous with wisdom, compassion, and laughter.

Even in the Church, where we assume people will be nice to one another (after all, Jesus was nice, right?), kindness seems to be endangered among women. Water cooler office gossip has become altar-talk and "prayer requests," and what was it Jesus said about being set apart?

I suppose I'm here today in the nest to give a few hurting girls some hope. Because I know you've been stabbed too. Thrown for a loop and left shaking your head. You had someone cut you down with her words and insults, and sweep you under the rug like yesterday's dirt and you were left wondering if there were just a few good women among our gender at all. I suppose I'm here to say, "Yes, there are. So pick yourself up, dust off that shame, and try again." Because as awful as women can be to each other ... we can also be delightful. I should know - some of my life's best gifts have been in the form of girlfriends.

Like *Shelly, who stood by me in honesty, loyalty, and truth when lies were slung like mud and I couldn't even find my own face. She calls and texts just to find out how I'm holding up and she cares. I mean she really cares about me and the condition of my fragile heart. She's been with me in hellholes and on foreign soil and she shines sunbeams of His glory from a stage. When I moved away she came to say good-bye with tears, even though her words were few.

And like *Liz, who has walked through hard lessons of insecurity with me, who has known me before I was this me, and who protects me with a fierceness I haven't known elsewhere. She listens to my heart and makes eye contact and soul contact and is trustworthy. She also offers her own flaws with trust, and honors me with honesty. We never hide doubt or shame from one another, and when we meet - it's safe there.

And like *Judy who poured out her stories like coffee at her table - warm and energizing and hopeful. I call her a mentor, but she really just loves me well, as an abundant verb and with generous time. If I need a rebuke she'll offer it gently, and her wisdom is a treasure beyond what any bank holds. Her encouragement is always spot-on and the pick-me-up I need when I can barely get out of bed.

And like *Michelle, who prays for me - and I'm talking real intercession. She bound her heart to mine in prayer the first day she met me, and when we prayed together every morning she taught me what it means to pour out tears as offerings. She approached me with honor and humility, though she owns more years of experience and wisdom than I. She let me lead her, though she was quite capable of leading us both. She let me give her pedicures and loved my children like they were her own. Together we learned more about God than we would have alone, and isn't that what God's daughters were destined to do?

And like *Victoria, who is the twin sister I dreamed of when I was in second grade, but didn't meet until my late twenties. A day older than me, we hold more in common than sense would lend. And yet we never put one another in any kind of conformity box. She knows me well enough to read my face or my voice, and speaks comfort when I'm a broken heap. A cheerleader in Christ, she never gives up on me and has been the definition of faithfulness if ever faithfulness had skin. She wears her heart on her sleeve and occasionally puts a foot in her mouth, and that is what I love most. Her words and drawings delight my heart like treasure, and I could never thank God enough for the privilege of calling her my sister.

I could go on and on - my high school friend who cries with me across an ocean, the treasure of a woman whom I mentored and loved fiercely, the newly rekindled friendship over coffee this week who offered validation, vulnerability, and wisdom. 

"The heartfelt counsel of a friend
    is as sweet as perfume and incense." - Proverbs 27:9 (NLT)

Of course, I've made mistakes in foolish insecurity too, and I've hid my heart behind walls from women because I was afraid or proud. And I've paid the price. Women have issues and hormones and anxieties and we can be downright evil. We use our swords to fight each other when we ought to defend against our common enemies. We all build walls and fire arrows and pass judgement at times. I've been awful too. 

When that happens, Dear Heart - know this: We can also be wonderful. As wounded as you have been, you can be just as much healed. As shocked as you have been, you can also be delightfully surprised. As awful as those girls have been, God has wonderful sisters for you in store. 

Let's not block off our tender places, jaded and shy and bitter. Let's be confident enough in who we are in Christ to offer friendship and receive it. Because we're worth it, and we need it, and our souls cry out for it. He made us to be wonderful, though we have experienced the awful.

That's just what the Redeemer does. 

*names changed for privacy. you know who you are to me.

Photo Credit: Jacob Splinks via flickr creative commons

Fear or Security - You Choose {Sabbath Bread}

Yes, the sky really is this blue here. It's a "fluffy cloud day," as my friend Renae fondly refers to them. 

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. ... I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free." -John 8:32, 34-36 (NLT)

"... regardless of what may come our way, God's people are safe. Let the solid earth shake and let the skies be torn in row, yet even amid the destruction of the world, believers remain as secure as they are during their calmest times of rest. And if the Lord does not save His people under heaven, He will save them in heaven... Stand upon His promises, rest in His faithfulness, and you can defy even the darkest future, for nothing can harm you. Your only concern should be to exhibit to the world the blessedness of obeying the Voice of wisdom." -Spurgeon 

"He will shield you with his wings! They will shelter you. His faithful promises are your armor." - Psalm 91:4 (TLB)

Oh God, Your love amazes me again today and I'm humbled to repentance as I recall lists of fears where I should have stood on Your faithful promises as my armor. This fear that strangles, this worry that creeps - oh how I hate how my enemy infiltrates my mind with illusion and doubt. Jesus, You died to set me free from the sin of fear, the trap of fear, and the illusion of fear, and I have no business living in the prison cell for even another moment. If I do, it is not Your fault, but my choice. Perhaps my thinking is ignorant or deceived or foolish. Or perhaps mere forgetfulness is to blame. But no - not today. Today I remind my soul and preach to my heart of Your faithful track record. You have never failed me and You won't. Today I refuse fear and I deliberately choose to receive with open hands the freedom You have paid for so dearly to emancipate this mind from terror. Please reveal to me any illusions of fear the devil has pulled over my eyes and wake me up to Your peace and security. Thank You for this freedom. 

Everything You Have Promised {Sabbath Bread}

"Even though you are so high above,

  you care for the lowly,

    and the proud cannot hide from you.

When I am surrounded by troubles

you keep me safe.

You oppose my angry enemies

    and save me by your power.

You will do everything you have promised;

    Lord, your love is eternal.

    Complete the work that you have begun."

-Psalm 138:6-8 (GNT)

Oh God, today I am reminded once again of your Sovereign power and control over the circumstances of my life. I am so impatient sometimes, so demanding, so anxious for control. Surrounded by troubles and enemies and then ... Your peace flowing to overflowing, making every empty striving void full of the calm only You offer. And how could I ask for more. May this awakening of Your faithfulness and every kept promise make me alive like never before. Alive in You by Your grace. Let Your glory invade me until I wake up to Your peace. Finish this work you've started until I spill over with Your goodness. 

Sabbath Bread {Pearl}

“Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a pearl merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. He discovered a real bargain—a pearl of great value—and sold everything he owned to purchase it!" - Matthew 13:45-46 (TLB)

[She isn't a Christian artist that I know of, but this song says it so well. How I feel today.]


Lord, You've given me so many gifts of loveliness, so many I could never count, though I do try. But I would let You take it all away if You needed to. But not You. I never want to let go of my grip on You. I'd sell it all for a moment in Your arms, and I'd let go of every treasure this world could offer because You are my true desire. To see Your face. To hold Your hand. Everything is worthless compared to that. 

"Therefore, since you have such a Friend and He invites you to come, why not receive from Him daily? Never go without when you have a God to go to, and never fear or faint when God is there to help you. Go to your treasure and take whatever you need, for He has more than you could even want. Learn the divine skill of allowing God to be all things to you. He can supply everything you need, or better yet, He Himself can be all you need." - Charles Spurgeon [emphasis mine]

Sabbath Bread {Content with Calvary}

"And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left."

-Luke 23:33 (NKJV)

"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have."

- Philippians 4:11 (NLT)

"Often the bitter herbs of Gethsemane have taken away the bitterness of your life, the scourge of Gabbatha often has scourged away your worries, and the groans of Golgotha have produced unthinkably rich comfort for you. We would never have known the full height and depth of Christ's love if He had not died, nor would we  have even been able to guess of the Father's deep affection if He had not given His Son to die." -Charles Spurgeon

Lord, I have You. Your ransom of my soul is what You wanted to give me. I want to learn like Paul did, the secret of contentment, of joy - wanting nothing more than my Sovereign King gives me. Wanting what I have and letting it be enough. Calvary - Your brutal death and abundant bloodshed to pay for my forever with You - is enough. It covers not only my failures, but all I could ever desire.

Gratitude on Thursday

I found this coming out of my mouth as I had coffee with a friend yesterday:

"I feel like I'm walking on a high wire or tight rope, and I'm holding a really long pole. One on side of my pole are all the difficult, hard, sad, infuriating things in my life that I need to at least acknowledge so that I don't stuff them, and on the other side are all of the really fantastic blessings I have that I can't let go un-thanked either. It's like I have so much of both extremes that the balancing of it gets overwhelming."

She nodded, acknowledging an understanding that she'd been here on this tight rope too. I love the feeling that comes when another soul "gets you."

And I was thinking about that high wire again while walking around the path at the park last night. Confessing and consecrating it all, talking to the One who holds my balance. Today, I'm so thankful for His reminder:

"Child, the only way you'll be able to balance is if you keep your eyes focused straight ahead on Me. And you can."

Again today - I share some of my gratitude list with you, Dear Heart. I pray it will inspire you to begin or continue to count all the ways He loves you and draws your focus straight ahead to His grace. Even more, I pray it will be a display of His glory, never mine.

Photo Credit: High Definition Wallpapers

- This video - hope in the face of hopelessness (We just got our picture of our sponsored girl, Pooja, who just so happened to be one of the featured children on the site. I don't know how that happened - her profile was there along with a number of others on our table when Pastor Cawston came.  What I do know - she's already tied up in the strings of my heart, and my arms ache to hug her like they did when my own daughter was in my womb. If I saw her today I'd kiss her beautiful cheeks. I wouldn't care about cultural barriers. Maybe it's good I can't, lol)

- Little Nina, and the way her face lights up when she sees me in the hall

- a warm hug from C at school, and the privilege it is that she can have lunch with her son at school

- an oriole, black with orange under his wings, and all the variety of birds here in this glorious place

- full blossoms of the dogwood trees, and the green of spring all around

- for peace and contentment to do just this which is right in front of me

- coffee with my friend, D, and the privilege to be an intercessor for her

- this verse, and Lizzie's spot-on exegesis of one of my all-time favorites

- the scent of the creek and the trees at dusk as I walk around the trail

- this quote, from my devotional today:

"The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we will take this view, life will become one great romance - a glorious opportunity of seeing wonderful things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power." Oswald Chambers [emphasis mine]

- the ticking of time today - though it may not seem like enough to me, it is Exactly. What. You. Have. Given.

- the way You teach me about intercession, and then give me people to pray for. You truly are Jehovah-Jireh, providing everything good I want and need

Lord, Thank You. I'm unworthy of all this goodness, but You made me worthy when Your Son took my place and gave me His. I see the ways You love me, and I'm grateful. Because You've given me Your son, and all these things, I gladly give You everything I have too.

If I could tell you a secret ...

... it would be this: you don't have to wonder - God does love you.

Want proof?  Breathe in.  Now exhale.

The mere fact that we have breath shows us we are created, protected, and known.

“God, the Lord, created the heavens and stretched them out.
    He created the earth and everything in it.
He gives breath to everyone,
    life to everyone who walks the earth.
And it is He who says,

‘I, the Lord, have called you to demonstrate my righteousness.
    I will take you by the hand and guard you,
and I will give you to my people, Israel,
    as a symbol of my covenant with them.

And you will be a light to guide the nations.’” 
            – Isaiah 42:5-6 (NLT) 

If you have anything good, it is because He gave it to you.  If what you see in your hands doesn't seem good, perhaps He is in the process of teaching you what His definition of good for you really is.  If you see evil around you, it could be His demonstration of how He can make good for you and through you, even out of the worst.  Because if He can show you that, you'll have no choice but to trust and praise Him.  Which is always His end-game.

How do I know this secret?  I found it here.

And what do we do once we know about this love?

Why, give it back, of course!  With a heart of gratitude. 

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him, even though I used to blaspheme the name of Christ. In my insolence, I persecuted his people. But God had mercy on me because I did it in ignorance and unbelief." - [Paul to Timothy] 1 Timothy 1:12-13 (NLT)

I keep counting this Thursday and every day, of course.  Counting His love demonstrations for me every day, and counting with naming the endless love of my God is truly what gives me strength to do His work.  Here are a few, and perhaps you're counting by now too?  I sure hope so.

- for gifting T as a wonderful writer, and my privilege to edit with her

- flickering flame on a candle, and the reminder of Your presence with me

- "Who has first given to Me, that I should repay him? Whatever is under the whole heaven is Mine." (Job 41:11) ... Lord - You owe me nothing, and I too am Yours.

- Sisters ... know that prayer is more important than your breathing because your soul is more important than your life." -Ann Voskamp

- for the privilege of being exhausted for You, and for renewing, refreshing, and reviving me. "All my springs are in You." -Psalm 87:7 (MSG)

- food when we're all hungry

- for healing some insecure, hurt, bitter emotions in my heart, and the privilege of putting the control of my feelings into Your loving hand

- a warm, breezy day

- chocolate-chip banana bread, blueberry turnovers, and coffee

- writing together with my friends, and hearing some beautifully creative pieces

- the sleek, dark braid in a little girl's hair

- for the gift of humility, given to me through a time of dark sifting, when I was required to learn how to hear Your voice, and practice listening carefully

- for femininity and the privilege to stand up for the rights of girls and women

- song birds in my trees, and the bidding of impending spring ... soon, please, Lord ...

- silly giggles with little J, and her sweet hands, cheeks, and belly

- Your goodness over me, and the way you prove Your love and make good on Your promises

Jesus - thank You.  Your love is enough, and even more.  That you gave me Your life on a cross, and then gave me ALL OF THIS ... I am just bent low in praise.  I know now what love is.  Will You teach me even more?

yes, even today ...

It's honesty time, Friends.

As much as I write and talk and preach and text and journal about hope and joy ... it slips through my hands too, sometimes.

I went to bed last night grieving, grumpy, and frumpy, and I woke up the same.  Too much to do, always running late, never enough time, letting myself down ... and tell me where Simple is supposed to fit in?

I'm not sure how many times my heart will be able to break and mend, break and mend, break again ... but I am sure that this hurts.  To listen to an hours-fresh widow plead to wake up from this nightmare, to hear of regrets over time not spent with a dad ... to pray for the mom to keep the baby so a friend can adopt the precious little bundle, only to learn that abortion claimed another bloody point today ... to endure another slug to this gut - I have emotions too.  With angry fists I pound the bathroom counter this morning, and though my lips and tears are silent, my heart screams it louder than a bullhorn.

"Is there anything good in this world?"

And He doesn't have to answer.

I already know there is.  Looking down at my fists, I'm already repentant, knowing the problem is not His blame.  These hands have closed again.  Of course there is good in this world.  I've counted nearly 2500 gifts, and it's only been over a year since I started.  I wonder how many I could have counted if I'd begun sooner.  So many.  Books and books of them.  Thousands and thousands since I've come into this forsaken, fallen planet. This place where I am not a citizen.  This very place where I can still receive good, because He is good, gives good, and defines good. But my hope is that I belong to a place much higher.

Of course it's not His fault and though I'm allowed to despair, I'm not to be despaired.  That is not my identity.

"Spiritual lust causes me to demand an answer from God, instead of seeking God Himself who gives the answer. What have I been hoping or trusting God would do? Is today the "third day" and He has still not done what I expected? Am I therefore justified in being dejected and in blaming God? Whenever we insist that God should give us an answer to prayer we are off track. The purpose of prayer is that we get a hold of God, not of the answer." -Oswald Chambers

And when what we want is Him, we'll never be sick.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
    but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." - Proverb 13:12

"Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

photo credit: National Geographic

My delight is in Him, and He gives me Himself.  I'm not sick because I have the hope I want - though I don't have the results I pleaded for, I do have Him.  So I have hope for joy, and He's all I need.  My hands are opening again as I preach this to my own soul.  There are good things in this world, and I've seen them, held them, written them, thanked Him for them.

Here are a few:

- Your freedom that reigns over every place I'll surrender, and hope for Your Majesty to come even more in my life

- brown ribbon and more paper for more gratitude, always more - for all this grace

- pretty souvenirs from India, brought from my Guy

- listening for long minutes after the service to J, T, and others  - a wonderful testimony of Your loving hand at work

- for this breath and the next: "He's the One who runs the earth! He cradles the whole world in His hand! If He decided to hold His breath, every man, woman, and child would die for lack of air." -Job 34:13-15 (Msg)

- " ... a plain and simple life is a full life." -Proverb 13:7 (Msg)

- humility ... "anyone who thinks he is something when he is nothing deceives himself." -Galatians 6:3 (NASB)

- for binding the enemy's lies and loosing Your truth over me (Matthew 18:18)

- audio clip from IRM's founder: a brother with many rescued sisters, and many more to rescue

- encouragement from You through my Guy to keep pressing on in obedience, regardless of results

- warmth in the cold weather, and strength to keep hoping for spring

- J finding a good book to read

- privilege to minster to R and her family

- a bit of sunshine this evening, and a lovely sunset tonight of orange, blue, and violet

- for Your unending love, unconditional faithfulness, unsurpassed power ... and that I get to know You

- science experiment about crystals with J

- for opening Your hands of goodness to me, and for opening my hands again to receive it - more of it, all of it.


Lord, forgive me again for clenching and pounding fists.  I find myself in so much trouble and trials when I close these hands.  May I learn, once again, the power of opening them in trust, believing that you WILL put good into them.  Please accept these open-handed thanks.  You are still Good, even today.  You are so very worthy.  My gratitude is all I have that You want. And it's Yours.

I really hate formulas...

... but some equations have been proven.  And algebra is fun - you get to arrive at one correct answer, and vague ambiguity has no place there.

When it comes to spiritual, emotional, or relational formulas though ... they often rub me the wrong way. Like sandpaper.  Two reasons come to mind:

1. I have a unique, individual, [sometimes rebellious] heart that refuses to be put into a box. What works for you might not work for me.  Everyone is different, and trying to squish us into the same mold can get ... well, squished.  My heart will not often be reduced to an equation.

2. I need to prove the formula works before I'll accept it.  Which is allowed, thankfully.  If you have this equation:  2x - 4 = y, you can plot a line using a method my math teacher called "plug and chug."  Choose three numbers for x, solve for y, plot on the graph and connect the dots.  There's the picture for that line. Simple. So I need to TRY a few times, and see if I get the same line as some one else.  When it comes to my faith walk, this is how that works:

•            I listen to your suggestion of a formula that works for your life
•            I look for Scriptural confirmation that this really could be Jesus's formula too
•            I "plug and chug" my own circumstances and efforts to see if I get the same results

Then, and only then, am I able to accept a life formula.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't. I read other blogs.  Christian authors and spiritual leaders.  You might read my Thursday blog over time and think: "She's just taking someone else's formula and repeating it, but that won't work for me. I refuse to be squished."  And I get that.  But maybe, just maybe ... more gratitude DOES equal more joy, and more strength to hold onto it.  

Choosing thankfulness = a joy-filled life

Please, Dear Friend - try it and tell me I'm wrong.  I'm humble enough to admit that I could be.  Maybe this isn't a universal formula.  I tried. And I know.  For me it works.

Today I count again and someday I'll get to my goal of 5,000.  On that day I'll write and tell you even more about how deliberate gratitude to the Giver of all these gifts of grace has changed me.  Until then, here are a few more.  All glory to Him.  Every ounce to the Father of Lights and Giver of Good.  As HE defines good.

- practice and memorization of Romans 1:1-6 on ScriptureTyper ... I'm getting this

- Your strength to get out of bed on a gloomy morning

- sweet little voices in my home as they wake and emerge from a Saturday "sleep-over"

- playing catch with my red-head cutie.  I'm totally smitten with this little guy at J's Ju Jitsu

- the privilege of sharing advice and encouragement with my Guy over Skype

- oatmeal, cinnamon, and a second chance when I accidentally dumped the entire salt shaker into the first batch

- an encouraging song from J, and hope for the broken because of Your love

- an eerily thick fog, and the break-through of Your sun (SON)-light, a symbol to my heart of hope's power

- for saving J's head and face when he fell off the scooter, and for Your healing touch over his elbows, hips, and hands

- for all You've done ALREADY through our team in India, and the way You give them the privilege of broken hearts: just like Yours for these people

- Your power, demonstrated in the wind, and shelter from the storm

- the way You've protected and shielded my life from so much horror

- S's boldness to bring Christ into the school, and the lovely way she ties You into "Black History" lesson, and for my privilege to witness it

"God will strengthen you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient.  And you will joyfully give thanks to the Father who has made you able to have a share in all that he has prepared for his people in the kingdom of light. God has freed us from the power of darkness, and he brought us into the kingdom of his dear Son." -Colossians 1:11-13 (NCV)

Lord, once again today I give you thanks.  My life has been the proven evidence that this formula does work.  Since I started counting, my joy has been more obvious, more prevalent, more tangible.  I see You at work in me and around me because I'm looking for it so that I can thank You for it.  Thank you for growing my trust, for granting me gifts every day that I could never earn or deserve.  Thank You for mercy.  Thank You for Grace.  Thank You for the happy and the deep and the sad and the difficult.  They are all gifts for my good, and I'm so in love with You because You first loved me.

so so so thankful ...

Words cannot express my God-gratitude as sufficiently as I'd like, but they come close.  Maybe writing isn't your thing, though.  Please don't feel like less than. That's the devil's lie again.  The truth is - you have the freedom to say "thank You" to God in your own way, fashion, and style.  Some write a song, some declare it aloud. Some pray quietly, meditating on all these gifts and blessings and graces.  I believe He loves all of that.  But, whatever you do, don't let thanks be left undone.  Like laces of a shoe untied, gifts un-thanked could be the recipe for a tumble.  I hope you're holding your joy, Dear One.  Making it real and received by thanking the One who gave it.

"I will sacrifice to you freely;
    I will give thanks to your name, Lord,
        because it’s so good" -Psalm 54:6

In celebration of Thursday (and every day), here are a few of mine:

- time to wake up with You and the way Your love melts away my grouchy mood

- bright orange and purple sky - another glorious sunset

- fun shopping for bedding with K, and her silly passion for anything zebra-striped

- this song, over and over and over - You love me and You are strong.  There's nothing else I need to know.

- a bright half-moon, and lack of clouds to hide it

- a bath in Your Word - the stable comfort to my heart

- meeting new friends hungry for more of You and Your truth

- a fresh challenge to "do life together"

- legos, barbies, "school", and beyblades - family fun just the four of us before my Guy leaves for India

- snow and sunshine mixing outside the window, over this mountain of dishes

- warm home, bed, clothes, shoes - what a chilly day, and yet this is what I have

- grace for when I forget

- more grace for when I'm running late

- AD back in J's class today, and the months she spent with her son.  I'm so thankful for her now spending time with mine now too

- a post-card thank-you from a far-away friend I've never met face-to-face, but who I truly love so much

- hope for an end to human trafficking in 25 years, if we all work together.  Hope is precious, and I'll hold it with Your strength

-this song too:

-

"Alive in me ...
Breathe in me Your life I can feel You are close now
I could never hide You are here and You know me
All I need is You and I love You I love You ...
Breathe in me Your life til Your love overtakes me
Open up my eyes let me see You more clearly
Falling on my knees til I love like You love me
I love You
Oh Jesus ..."

- chap-stick rolling into another room that turned into an invitation to pray

- Your powerful Name that changes our hearts

Oh Jesus, how good it is to offer another thankful sacrifice of praise to You.  Thank You for all these gifts.  I receive with open hands and return back to You all I have that You could want - gratitude.  In the midst of frightening, horrible, sickening, darkness - Oh God, how astonishing it is to see Your light-love.  There is nothing else I want.  Only more of You.

thank you to national geographic for the photo of bird, and hillsong united for the worship

Thankful on Thursday ... and every day

Gratitude and joy hold hands.

"At that same time Jesus was filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit, and he said, 'O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way.' " - Luke 10:21 (NLT) [emphasis added]

Has God ever filled you with joy?  I hope you know this: even in the midst of everything awful, God is still loving you by pouring joyful goodness (as HE defines good, remember?) into your life through the funnel of the Holy Spirit.  It's there if you open your eyes to His grace.  In the sunrise, and in the baby's dimples, and in the Word, and  in the nuggets of hope.  If you look... it's there.  I promise.  So how does one hold on to this pouring joy?  

The same way Jesus did.  In acknowledging that God had revealed His power through the ministry of the seventy-two, Jesus received the gift God gave.  In His gratitude, He praised God, sealing the deal.  Declaration of it removed the question of whether or not God was at work and could be trusted as FAITHFUL.  His thankfulness was His grip on the joy.  Satan could not steal it once He said it that way.

Is my life composed of this kind of thanks-declaration-holding-joy too?  May it be so.  Is your life full of thanks, like Jesus's life?  It's not too late to start ... count your gifts and hold on to the joy.

Want help?  Check this out.

Once again, here are some of my declarations of thanks, recorded in my journal ... these mere etchings on paper might as well be billboards of His praise!

- doodling with R at Panera

- Don't Cry for Me by Lillian Sparks, and the perspective about the way each life is precious, and eternity is all that really matters

- ibuprofen from the nurse for my cramps

- the privilege of loving my Guy with time

- a quick hug and honest moment with T after school

- courage for a friend to walk away from a toxic relationship, and the way you bring her back into my life after so many months

-for all of this favor and all of these blessings, none of which I deserve.  It could be me in a brothel and my child in a "creshe" [more on this next week, dear Ones... stay tuned]

- amazing sea creatures on an episode on the APL channel, and Your gorgeous creation

- sweet good-night kisses from my kids, and their arms around my neck long past what I planned, but I don't want to break away either

- the way my Guy leaves love notes in my car - You gave me a loving husband, and I'm so thankful

Lord, sometimes the joy is like a flood, and sometimes life feels like an unending desert , devoid of anything happy.  But, regardless of appearances, You've taught me that joy from Your Spirit comes faithfully, if I'll see it, and that if I want to hold onto this pouring - make the liquid a graspable, solidified entity - I must say thanks.  And so I do again today.  I pray for the joy also to be poured out through me to others, and I ask for more gifts, committing back to You my vow of gratitude.  Thank you for GOOD gifts of grace.  Jesus I love you so much.

Thankful on Thursdays

Where do I begin?

Perhaps by saying that each day lately has been attendance in the school of gratitude, and I feel like I'm sitting in the front row, furiously taking notes.  The theme for December's term was "Being Thankful in Trials 101."  Even in the hard times, God is still good, and He is still a giver.  I told my husband a couple weeks ago, "I find my joy is directly correlated to my gratitude."  Not what happens or what doesn't.  Not if I fail or fail really hard.  Not if people are happy with me or angry.  No - my strength to hold onto the joy He pours out every day into my hands is correlated to the measure of how thankful I am for each blessing, every gift.

I am entitled to none of them.  This very breath is grace.

So here are a few I've recorded lately.  Please feel free to keep track of yours too.  It's the closest thing I can make to a joy guarantee.


- healing for ____, and lessons learned - sin purged in physical pain and illness (1 Peter 4:1)

- time to organize my art mess, and a table ready for me to craft

- the privilege of teaching boys what is gentlemanly behavior

- blue sky and bright sun in my eyes

- birthday gifts from a friend - just what I like

- Your strength to laugh at myself when I could be drowning in shame

- an evening to catch up on my to-do's, and K's help with dinner

- Your comfort after a disturbing dream

- these lyrics "Whispering fingertips, leaving Your fingerprints all over everything" [Flyleaf]

- a baby's strong cry at the post office, followed by sweet, loud sucking on a pacifier

- a "furball of a bird" given to a friend as a sign of faith and peace

- Your strength to take another breath, another step, another beat.  I'm nothing without You.

- Britt Nicole, Jaime Grace, Brandon Heath, Chris August, Group 1 Crew, Toby Mac and more in concert. So much fun with C and the boys!

- a kiss from J, blown off the balcony to me

- privilege to pray with teachers

- Your beautiful hands that hold me, and give me confidence to be and do what You've created me for

- Psalm 37:7 and perfect comfort for such an imperfect tragedy.  "Be silent before the LORD and wait expectantly for Him; do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way, by the man who carries out evil plans." (HCSB)

Lord, I'm thankful.  My gratitude is not lost.  My praise is not silent.  Are You pleased, and do You get to shame the devil again today?  His attacks will never cause me to curse You, only praise and thank You all the more.  I hope I've passed this course in "Life and loving You."   You are so worthy, and there's nothing I wouldn't give You.  A thousand kingdoms and a million songs don't even do You justice ... but here is my worship of thanks again today. 

The Power of Gratitude

Thankful on Thursdays

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” 

I'll give you the author of that quote shortly, but I want you to let the words sink in first.  Perhaps we should re-read that together :  cultivate the habit ... of being grateful ... give thanks [when?] ... continually ... include [what?] ... all things ... in your gratitude.

Every day when I raise my hands to God in the morning, here's the posture  in which I want Him to find my heart: ready.     Ready to receive whatever good He places in my hands; ready to give Him my life as an offering; ready to say "thank-You" for whatever He gives through His glorious riches in Christ (Phil 4:19).  Because the Father of Lights only gives good, only filters through what He defines as good, only permits what will be beneficial for my good, though my definition of good may have originally seemed different.  I open my hands again today and allow it to be redefined.  I'm ready to allow Him to redefine me, even.

And gratitude is cultivated in the bringing back down of my hands, holding His gift to my chest in this moment, and saying ... thank You.  For things such as these:

- a snowy morning, and beautifully white flakes.  Reminder of the purity He exchanged for my filth.  That purchase still floors me.

- a working furnace

- J's silliness with baby L : "whoa, her cheeks are squishy!" and "aah, she just slammed my eye out!"

- Your glory-strength in me to endure the unendurable [Col. 1:11-12 (Msg)]

- an extra day with my niece, L ... giving her roly-poly thighs a "slippy" bath, and the glorious feeling of a baby falling asleep in my arms as I rock.  Lord, forgive me for not being grateful for these things when my own were small.  I beg You - teach me to treasure the mundane as Your goodness too.

- a morning to linger in the Word, and for my tattered Bible while my kindle is "missing"

- reminder to speak out Your Love in the morning and Your Faithfulness every night [Psalm 92:1-2]

- a picturesque moon, shining especially bright tonight, and a pretty star so close in the sky

- re-learning grammar so I can strengthen my writing

- the pain of the cycle, and the knowledge of your faithful healing ... again


"And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." -Colossians 3: 15b-17 (Msg)

Sounds eerily familiar to the quote at the top, doesn't it?  So, how surprised was I to learn that it came from the founder of Transcendentalism himself, Ralph Waldo Emerson?  Really? ... Well, forgive me, Mister Founder, but before you walk away from your faith to worship the gods of self and creation, perhaps you'd like to examine whom you are thanking and gratifying.  

And how much of our society has remained transcendentalized? [Oh my - first I'm talking to dead guys, and now I'm making up words!] ... Part of our thinking has come from the idea that we can make ourselves, control our lives with positive thinking and education, and rise above others by isolating ourselves from them.  Honestly, at 19 years old when I gave my heart to Christ in full, He had to deliver me from every single one of those idols. Oh thank You, Jesus. *shew*

I'm exceedingly thankful He did.  So I hope you enjoyed that truth from one of the greatest writers and poets in American history, however hypocritical it is to his movement and ideals.  We'll extend grace to him too, because, after all - we're all ragamuffins, aren't we?

Sweet Jesus, I'm so thankful again today.  You bless me with good, and I want every bit of it.  Even the gifts that don't appear as such at first.  I embrace them to my heart too.  Today I trust You again and believe that whatever comes is in Your great plan to mold my heart and conform my life to Yours.  Isn't that what I've sung for years?  "Take my heart, and form it.  Take my life and conform it.  Take my will and transform it.  To Yours ..."  May every moment I'm here on earth be one in which I thank You.  Because it's virtually all I have that You want.  Open hands.