On Patience and Josiah {my novel, not my son}

Dear Reader,


Sometimes I have these moments ... 

I know you have them too.

I'm driving back from the school for the millionth time this week (it seems), just saying a silly little prayer because I don't know what to say but I know Who to ask, and it was merely a "I need something today, Jesus. Feeling a little off, a little empty, a little foggy."  

The song starts on the radio - just a few plucky strings and I turn it way up. Way up. The sound of the universe resonates in the heart like thumping base and weaving harmony. Tears pour down the cheeks and the only thought in the vacated mind is - 

That's it. Just what the longing soul needs to breathe. 

And I know it's just a song - a few letters un-jumbled to form lyrics and simply a note through vocal cords mixed with a couple strumming chords, but - 

Oh. My. Heart. Have you heard this? Have you let it get in you, opened your hands to it?





God of Mercy, sweet Love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the sky
These Hallelujahs be multiplied

[Go ahead. Play it again. Turn it way up and sing it really loud.]


So - sometimes God answers with an immediate gift like that, right in the very moment I'm already praying it ...

And sometimes He takes His sweet time. That's one cup sassy and one cup genuine too, because His timing is always sweet; it's always good. Good for me, that is. 

Waiting tries the character trait of patience like fire tries the silver, and who said life is without burns? They were wrong.

I'm mature enough to recognize the impatience now, when it comes. It comes like quick bursts of snappy words and my eyes rolling before I can stop them and a loud tone I wish I could reel back into my voice box. And I'm old enough to recognize when God's trying to get through to me about things like patience. Like when I read about it in my Spurgeon devotional and also in my son's homework planner (?!) and also in between the lines of old journals.

Wait. Be still. Hold on. Don't rush. Live in the now.

Breathe.

Yesterday I was looking through old journals (don't you just love doing that?) as I was unpacking. I came across a few pages from over six years ago and immediately recognized it as a conception of sorts. It was an epiphany about the character of a biblical figure named King Josiah, and the beginning of a journey with God that would take me on a grueling path of researching, writing, re-writing, sharing, reading, editing, and pouring out my heart in a historical fiction. It will be published soon. In His sweet timing, that is. *wink* Because not all prayers are answered in an instant. 

Here's an excerpt from that journal entry, and stay tuned because soon I'll be posting a few excerpts of the manuscript, soon. Just for you, Sweet Reader.

2 Kings 23
King Josiah personally saw to it that the nation of Judah was cleansed of all idolatry and disobedience against God. He traveled the nation for however long it would take to purify the land with the help of his administration and priests. He could have said, "God and do it" to the army, but his passion for the nation and against idolatry was so deeply personal that he had to see the destruction of each statue, temple, and pole with his own eyes. He wanted to set flame to the wood wit his own hands. To personally see to it that Judah was truly rid of its idolatry and sacrilege against his God. I can just picture him saying, "No nation I rule shall ever contain a single blasphemous stone or pillar against my LORD. No. Not on my watch."
And it took years, camping on the hillside when he could have been enjoying royal feasts, kingly quarters, and the most beautiful women. Like many of his fathers had done before him. Yet with the wisdom of but 20 years he followed his zeal for God up every single high hill and under every tall tree to seek out and destroy that which angered God and made Him burn with jealousy.
Would that we had that passion for God's holiness! What would our nation look like? What would our neighborhoods look like? What would our hearts look like? No, we can't set fire to every adult bookstore and Mosque. By God's grace of the cross He has chosen a different covenant for us.
However, we can set fire to the false gods in our hearts. We should tear down every altar in our life which does not give sole glory to Jesus. We can have the zeal of Josiah and personally see to it that our hearts and lives are conformed to the purpose of serving Him alone. Not the idol of self, not the altar of materialism, not the asherah pole of lust, not the incense altar of pride. We may not be rulers of a nation, but God has made us people of influence. 
Jesus - reform me, conform me, cleanse me, refine me with Your fire. Help me to take every thought captive to You. May I personally and daily tear down my idols which I honor more than I honor You. Show me how to be the leader Josiah was, not permitting a single stone to stand if it did not stand for You. I want to be more like You every day. I want to see progress in my life toward holiness, movement toward You and Your goodness. Light a fire in my heart for honoring You and never let it die.
I may not be king or queen or president, but You have made me a person of influence in my workplace, my home, my friendships, and my church. Help me, LORD. Stir up your fire in me. 
Amen


That was it. Just what a longing soul needed to breathe. One breath at a time. An idea became a concept, which became a story, which became characters and plot and words and pages and ... Just you wait!



Excitedly patient,

Robyn
#comingsoon #ConsumingFire

Five Characteristics of Excellent Followers

I woke up ready to write this morning, so I jumped over to Lisa-Jo's to see what her prompt was. You can jump over there too, and in light of her transition, I'd like to choose my own prompt today (woohoo), and we'll link up with Kate soon.

This year, Jesus and I picked a word/theme for me to work on and learn, instead of making an insane number of resolutions back in January and feeling like a failure in February. I've done My One Word now for almost three years and here's my conclusion: focus is the key to lasting change. 

So, this year's word is Follow, and wow, can I just say that God has so much to say to me about this one. I'm learning content I didn't know that I didn't know, and all because my soul is in tune to awareness of this theme. 

I'll briefly share my process of how I do MyOneWord, but it definitely varies, based on your personality, learning style, and personal development. If you've never tried it before, I encourage you to check it out and begin praying about a word for 2015, because sometimes it takes a while to hear what God is telling you. That's a whole other issue, an entirely different prompt and post. For now, here's my approach:

• I pray about the word God wants for my year and ask Him what He wants to teach me.
• Once the word is chosen by Him and revealed to me, I make a creative piece to have on visual display, so I see it (pretty) every day.
• As I read the Bible, I ask God to show me verses that apply to the theme of the year, and I write them down (on pretty paper, of course) as I work on committing them to memory and applying them to my life.

(that is the fat stack of follow verses I've collected so far, on top of my Spurgeon devotional and my Bible, pardon the blue duct tape *blush*)

• I continue to ask God to change me, making me into the sanctified woman He envisioned the day I was made. Without this surrender prayer, I honestly don't believe change would be possible for me. I'm just that stubborn.
• I journal about what I'm learning, taking notes as if from the Master Professor. Have I ever told you how much I loved being a student? Well, I absolutely cherish learning, especially from a fabulous teacher. And believe you me, He's a dynamo!
• I talk to others about what I'm learning and bounce ideas off of them. I especially ask my mentors and those close to me - the ones I trust with my soft places - if they see change in me, if they can tell how the Potter is working on this clay. And I let them say a hard word, even if it stings for a minute. I can't tell you how crucial this part is.
• I seal it with gratitude. If I learn, apply, or practice any of the change God is bringing to me, I'll take note of it in my gratitude journal, and that not only brings thanks to the Source, but it helps me remember my progress.

So with that laid out, let's explore a bit about what God has to say about followers, shall we? I've learned that we have a chasm right now between our American culture which overemphasizes the value of leadership, and Jesus's counter-cultural approach which emphasizes following and serving well. Nowadays everyone wants to be a leader, everyone wants control, and everyone thinks the leader is the best. If you're not the leader, you're just not as important, right? Which is just a breeding ground for power grabs and control issues. And believe me - I'm the worst when it comes to control issues. The problem is that I want it. Control, that is - all the time and over everyone, especially myself. Unfortunately, I'm no good at being Sovereign.

Control is not God's plan for me. Check out these verses from my stack and you decide:

• Keep my decrees and follow them. I am the Lord, who makes you holy. - Leviticus 20:8
• Since you are my rock and my fortress,
      for the sake of your name lead and guide me. - Psalm 31:3 
• May I wholeheartedly follow your decrees,
      that I may not be put to shame. - Psalm 119:80
• Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” - Isaiah 30:21
• Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it." -Mark 8:34-35
• Peter said to him, “We have left all we had to follow you!”  “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God  will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life.” -Luke 18:28-30
•  However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. -Acts 20:24

I've noticed that when the breakdown in a company or institution or organization happens, it's often not a lack in good leadership, though that's want we most often assume. It's often the breakdown in good follwership. And yes, I did just make a word up. Work with me here. Followers are extremely valuable, and I've noticed that tons of people are great leaders (or at least they think they are), but not very many people pride themselves in being an excellent servant, a high-quality support, and a great follower. And maybe, just maybe, that's what's wrong with us. With me. Maybe I'm looking to move up in this world when Jesus needs me to simply move forward behind Him.

From my observations, from what I've been learning from the Teacher and attempting to apply to my own heart and actions, though it's tough, here are what I believe are five characteristics of excellent followers:

1. They choose their leaders well. 

If you're going to be able to follow well, you need to believe in your leader and the direction she/he is going. Choosing a leader ought not to be a hasty matter. Before swearing allegiance to anyone, including Jesus (He'll require that you pick up a cross, after all), observe them, listen to their vision, and figure out if where they're going is where you want to end up too.

2. They know their role.

Every time I've observed division (okay, maybe not every time, but just about) I've noticed that it was a matter of the followers being confused about their role as followers. "Oh," I would say to myself, "That's the problem - he doesn't know that he's the follower, not the leader here." As clear as day I saw it, and yet to say it would be to exacerbate the very issue of ignorance. And every time I've observed an organization or business running smoothly, I've also noticed that the people following are secure in their role and identity as a follower. It's almost like they know who they are and they like it. It's beautiful, really.

3. They know how to confront their leader without slandering him or her. 

We can blindly follow Jesus without ever questioning Him or doubting His guidance, but He's really the only One we can do that with. And most people don't even do that - most of us DO question Him and doubt Him sometimes. My hands aren't always open. Sometimes I shake a fist at heaven, too - but I'll tell you this - only when I'm alone with Him. I believe it should be the same with the people who lead us. We should question them to their faces, not behind their backs. We need to confront their short-comings sometimes (and by sometimes I mean very rarely), but only in private, and not in front of others. This is classic Matthew 18 teaching, but we as Americans are not good at this in any way, shape, or form. Excellent followership will include the occasional disagreement with your leader, but it will never include gossip. And here's the definition of gossip, in case you were wondering (Strong's Hebrew and Greek): talebearer, whisperer; prating, talking foolishly, babbling. 

4. They put forth excellent effort without the need to be seen.

This is one of the most difficult for me, because I really do like to be noticed. I covet the attention of people and it gets me in trouble often. God is really dealing with this sin in me, because He doesn't want me to live a life that glorifies myself - He wants me to live my life to glorify Him. So why is that so hard? Well I believe it is a flesh vs. Spirit battle we all face and I believe Satan uses it every chance he gets because of how effective it is to distract us from worshiping God. But here's where following becomes counter-cultural once again. "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." -Colossians 3:17. Excellent followers work hard whether or not people are watching. They have a big picture in mind - a vision and purpose of the big things cooperation can accomplish. They aren't out for attention or accolades, which are fleeting; they're out for the good of the organization, institution, company, or family. If they get noticed, they appreciate the gratitude, but they don't feed off of it. If their hard work doesn't get noticed by others, they take comfort in knowing God sees, and they let that be enough. Yes, I need to get better at this, too.

5. Excellent followers positively influence their leaders.

Playing second fiddle isn't usually a positive phrase, but I like it anyway. Unless we're talking about Jesus, all of our other leaders will need to be led as well. And just because we follow them, doesn't mean we don't have influence in their lives. When a servant earns the trust of his master, the master will eventually learn to listen to the wisdom of the servant also. This doesn't come instantly, and that can be problematic in our microwave culture, but it will happen: and if you are following well, don't be shocked if you gain more "power" than you once expected. Think of Aaron and Hur for Moses. They lifted his arms, and because of their support and encouragement (with God's power) God's people won that battle. Leaders need support and guidance too, and if you are an excellent follower, it will only be a matter of time before you find yourself in a position of far more leadership than your title denotes. 

How about you? What characteristics do you observe in people who are good at followership? Please slip your thoughts in the comments box below. And in the spirit of Friday - Keep Writing! 

Photo credit: Yuri Levchenko via flickr creative commons

Guerrilla Lovers {Book Review}

It's been a little while since I did a book review here, but rest assured I haven't lost my love for books. Reading (especially pages, not screens) is still one of my favorite ways to spend my time. Today I'm reviewing a book I recently re-read, and I'm excited to share it with you, because you know if I read something twice, it's gotta be good!

The first time I read it was with a mission team before we traveled to Haiti, and I recently saw it on my shelf as I was packing and once again wanted the challenge and encouragement I found the first time. The book is called Guerrilla Lovers by Vince Antonucci .

The author's comic and witty style was one of my favorite aspects of this read, and I enjoyed his satire even better the second time around, which is really saying something.  I found myself laughing out loud in public places while reading it, and then glancing up sheepishly to see if anyone had heard me. The premise of this nonfiction from a hip pastor/church planter is that followers of Christ can be part of a revolutionary movement to share our faith that is similar to guerrilla warfare in that we ambush people with love. He argues effectively with examples and personal testimonies these new and refreshing methods to infiltrate our world with love and use God's grace for generosity and hope among the hopeless in our communities. With thought-provoking personal and discussion questions at the end of each chapter, as well as online testimonies and interaction opportunities throughout, this is one book that could actually start the revolution we need.

If you know me at all, you already know this is my kind of thing, so it probably won't surprise you that I liked this book and highly recommend it. What may surprise you is that I find it difficult to apply his concepts. Swimming against the current is never easy, though.

To write about befriending intimidating people, giving away large sums of money for individuals in need, hosting a church service in your back yard for your unsaved friends, or wearing a cape every day to remind you to be someone's hero - well that's easy if you ask me. But to DO those things? That's massively complicated and downright hard. I admire Antonucci's courage to write about his efforts for a guerrilla revolution among the Church, but even more, I respect that he's there too - on the front lines and in the rear guard and infiltrating the enemy's tactics of evil with God's love. I'm pretty convinced that's what Jesus was talking about when He said, "Follow Me. I'll make you people-fishers."

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book, and I hope you'll read it too. If you have read it or do in the future, I'd love for you to comment and let me know how it impacted you, too.

"What if we actually obeyed God? What if we took him seriously? What if we viewed our excess as God-given resources to meet people's needs and fund Jesus's revolution? What if we shared in a way that drew others into the revolution?"

"... perhaps the first thing we need to do is restore people's humanity."

"God's dream is of a people whose lives have been revolutionized by love. Jesus died that we might go out on mission to share his love with everyone. But instead we've become Christian consumers who keep our distance from the rest of the world by bunkering down in our churches, which are more like country clubs without pools, and that's tragic."

"What if re redefined 'greatness' and believed it comes through serving? And what if we viewed church not as something that brings in people from the community for services but as people who go out into the community to serve?"

Happy reading, and happy guerrilla loving!

A Bit of a Ramble, If I May {Follow}

Missing these guys,

I pack boxes under duress, stress going right in with the dishes and books and baskets and lamps and the how-am-I-ever-gonna-get-that-in-a-box paintings. My guy hunches over heavy decisions and yes, *blush*, there may or may not have been some shouting this week. Transition brings out our differences like a hammer-knocked thumb and oh my, are we so very different ... Transition brings out hope too, though, and I have a fair portion of that lately also. Above all, this I learn - transition refines the follower in me.

Following with excellence boils down to trust. Boiling cauldrons full of stressful choices large and small characterize transition, and all this bubbling, pounding becomes a repeating echo He asks again: "Will you trust Me?"

If I answer yes, I know what He'll say next.

"Then follow Me."

Which boils down to humility. As much control as I'd wield if I could for my own facade of comfort, I would. But what then? I wouldn't be following, I'd be rebelling. And I'm left with one choice. Surrender. Again. 

Because I'm no good at being sovereign, but I do know the One who is.

Yesterday the verse leaped off thin pages and landed in my soul like an anchor.

“No chance at all,” Jesus said, “if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you trust God to do it.” - Luke 18:27 (Msg) [emphasis mine]

I'm loving these bold lines He draws with me. I haven't always - loved them, that is. Today I devour them like candy. Try it on your own, fail every time; trust Me and follow Me, it's guaranteed. 

And what choice do I have? 

This humbling passage rolls through my recesses today:

“Welcome, Prince,” said Aslan. “Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?”“I—I don’t think I do, Sir,” said Caspian. “I’m only a kid.”
“Good,” said Aslan. “If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not. Therefore, under us and under the High King, you shall be King of Narnia..." - C.S. Lewis, Prince Caspian

If I'm to follow Him, I must trust Him to do it - every part. I am merely the one cooperating, receiving, walking in the paths He paves with holy Feet. He's readying them for my gospel-shod soles too.  

Is following Jesus easy? Hardly. Is there any other way? Not for me.

The Value of Faithful

Massive monuments start as small stones. Lifetimes are built from moments, and organizations are a million common actions in the same direction. A teaspoon of faithfulness seasons a whole batch of character.

God refers to Himself as Faithful. It's an adjective the Almighty uses to describe His Divine Being to mortals.

"The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, 'Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.' " - Exodus 34:6 (NLT) [emphasis mine]

I'll never forget the question my mother asked me when I was old enough to choose God. "How do you know God is real?" I didn't know how to answer, so she helped me. "He does what He says. What He promises in the Bible - it comes true, both in history, and in your life." I don't know if she realized in that moment how her words would change me.

His faithfulness proves His existence, even proves His love.

Can that be said of me, His follower? While I won't be perfect, and neither will you, Dear One, we are being conformed to His likeness. Our faithfulness will grow. More of what we promise will come to pass, the more we surrender to His power to change us. And this is what we follow, this is who we become - Faithful.

Have you committed to something in zeal without counting the cost?

Have you backed out on a commitment or a relationship God wanted you to see through?

Have you made excuses instead of making promises; instead of keeping them?

Have you gone right when the voice in your heart said to go left?

Have you said the words you swore you'd never say?

Have you left untended the dream you promised your heart you'd achieve?

Believe me, I'm preaching this to my soul too first, Reader. Getting my plank out before I look for your splinter. I've failed at faithfulness more times than I care to count, but this: progress. I press on. I pursue His likeness. I cooperate with His molding. I desire to reflect Him. It starts small and builds, it grows. This snowball of faithfulness rolling toward avalanches. 

What faithful steps can we take today that will emulate our Lord Jesus, and what bricks can we lay on the foundation of our lives that will speak to all, "I have done what I set out to do"?

Live or die?

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life." 

-Deuteronomy 30:19-20a (NLT) 

The pastor's in the pulpit and his hands wave and dance with his words. He tells us to die, and says he's giving up himself for lent; invites me to do the same. 

Die to this flesh and its endless desires, lusts, prides. Increasing Jesus and decreasing me. 

"This world tells you that you need to 'find yourself.' Well, I did find myself and you know what I found? Yuck!"  Even as he says it, I can't believe it of him, but I know it's true of me. Yes, I've been on a search for me - the real me - and when I found her it was far from what I'd hoped. That woman, that me, she's nothing without her Rescuer. 

This life isn't about soul-searching as much as it's about God-searching. Seek Christ and you seek life. Find Him and you find it all. Forget to knock on His door, and emptiness will be the least of your worries. 

To lay down self and take up crosses - everything worth doing is difficult. 

A teacher at my workplace says it and I know it's true of following Christ too - "If this was easy, everyone would do it, right?"

The pastor goes on about carrying a cross and I'm breathless again with this one - "We're called to carry crosses, not guillotines." We can't crucify our flesh with one quick motion, like a guillotine. Crucifixion was a slow, public, humiliating, painful, lengthy death, that often took days to complete. And this Daily Cross is a process - a painful, long parting with flesh that has no destination short of heaven. Only then will we be glorified in perfection-life. Oh glorious hope!

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. 

-Mark 8:34-35 (NLT)

Sometimes choosing life means deciding to die.

It's hard eucharisteo to be thankful for the privilege of suffering, of dying with Him, but I'm okay with trying hard things. I can be thankful, even for this, because I know obedience is worth it. He is worth it. I know I've failed before, and I'll probably hold on to too much of myself again - but it's in the not giving up where I think He's pleased with His kids. So will you pray this with me too, Dear One?

Lord, please show me the parts of my life that need to be crucified today for Your glory and my good. Give me the strength and endurance required today to lay down my selfish desires and take up my cross for Your Kingdom. Please heal my heart even as I die a little every day, and revive me in Your presence with joy. Show me what You desire of me, and how to obey You more. Make my life a living sacrifice of love to You. You are worth it - worth the pain and every ounce of suffering. I need no other motivation than Your love. 

Quotes from Pastor Lance Lecocq with permission

Follow {with excellence)

Leadership, leadership, leadership. It's all we hear sometimes, and all we talk about. 

Excellence in leadership is crucial to an organization, a government, a family, a church ... any institution, really. And I get it - leaders are important, and excellent leadership can carry us to success just as fast as poor leadership can destroy us. The Bible says a lot about leadership. We have so much to learn from the Leader of leaders, the King of kings. Yes. I get it.

But what about followers? What is to be said about excellent follower-ship? As much as God teaches us about leadership, I'll argue that He has far more to say about following well. 

Because only a few of us are called to lead, but we are all called to follow. With excellence - we're to learn how to follow well, honor our leaders, walk in humility and support and help. Everyone wants to be a great leader but who ever would think of aspiring to be a fantastic follower? 

I, for one, would like to start a movement of excellent followership. Someone once said, "Lord bring revival and start with me." If you know who said it first, let me know - I can't remember or find the person to credit. But I often think it a pray it. I do know it was Ghandi who said, "Be the change you want to see." Regardless of who the leaders were or are - I want to follow in those steps. The steps that walk in humble submission to Jesus and those He has appointed to lead me. My husband. My pastors. My mentors. My parents. My boss. 

Something has been lost in our culture of rugged individualism and we the people. I think that loss saddens the heart of God. Submission has become a dirty word among us and we're in trouble because of it. I'm convinced that God has more instructions in His Word about following well than about leadership.

And I do get it. This doesn't come easy for me. I like power and control just as much as you do. Of all of the control freaks I'd be first in line. Submission and surrender seem like passive things, so why do they require me to work so hard to get them? I just think God has something to say to us about walking behind someone. Behind Someone. 

So how, about it? You there, Reader. The wife who knows it's her role to honor her husband but can't quite figure out how. The employee who desires to submit to his boss but can't stop cutting him down behind his back. The church member who wants to respect his pastor but just keeps trying to get closer to him so he can get a hold of the power and make the decisions. The teenager who knows it's right to honor her mother and father but can't stop the back-talk. The Christ-follower in name but not in deed, who talks the talk in the day but can't seem to walk the walk in the darkness. 

What if we could deny our flesh and become the followers God has promised He'd make us if we'd just cooperate and surrender?

I've got a stack of verses beside me right now about following, and I'm deciding how many I can fit into this post. I'm half-way tempted to squeeze them all in, but I've been in your seat: ready for the punch line, the bottom line ... the point. So I'll get to it. 

“If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you’ll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment’s notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me." - John 12:26 (Msg)

akoloutheó is the Greek work that means accompany, attend, follow

I can either busy myself trying to make God follow my bidding, or I can follow Jesus, ready to serve Him. I may be a leader, but my first job, my first joy, is to follow. To switch the two is to falter and then fall. I don't want to be a fall-er, I want to be a follower. It's there I'll find the Father's reward. Which is all that's really worth reaching for, anyway.

One way to define spiritual life is getting so tired and fed up with yourself you go on to something better, which is following Jesus. - Eugene H. Peterson

What about you? What has God taught you recently about following? 

Follow - Grace in the Choice

Without Jesus and His grace I would remain a slave to sin.

He is the All-Sufficient game-changer.

Because with Him I am free. Indeed.

Free to choose, to shake off these shackles of temptation, rage, shame, and darkness. 

It was C.S. Lewis who declared:

"It is a living Man, still as much a man as you, and still as much God as He was when He created the world, really coming and interfering with your very self; killing the old natural self in you and replacing it with the kind of self He has." (Mere Christianity)

Yes, it is He who kills the carnal self, but I who must first open and surrender. I who must first ask Him to come.

God is ever giving, always pouring, constantly offering. So I suppose the question to me is, will I be a receiver? Will I take hold, or let all this grace, all these gifts, all this freedom slip through my fingers like air? Like oil. This freedom so slippery in the face of evil. Breathe. Open these hands.

And I do know that slippery oil through leaky fingers will require endless supply.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
    His mercies never cease.

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." -Lamentations 3:22-23 (NLT)

My one word for this trip around the sun: Follow.

The word implies a choice. Every spin of the planet I have an option - I could definitely choose not to. Could very well just throw myself down on the tile and pout, or even flail and scream. I don't have to. He doesn't drag me; just walks and invites me to follow. He doesn't push me ahead of him, driving, shoving, forcing; just shows the Way and makes it clear. Makes it straight. I could likely turn around and go back. Could just as easily take a path not His. This is my choice - and will I follow Him? 

I'm thankful for His Map today. Just opening and continuing to read is often all it takes. He lights the dark and broken way, this glorious, lovely Lamp illuminating my choices.

"For crooked people are detestable to the Eternal,
    but those with integrity receive His counsel.
 His curse lingers over the wicked and their families,
    but He forever favors residence of those who do      what is right.
 God treats the arrogant as they treat others,
    mocking the mockers, scorning the scornful,
    but He pours out His grace on the humble.
 In the end, the wise will receive honor, but fools will face humiliation." - Proverbs 3:32-35 (The Voice)

So, what will it be this day, Self?

Jesus, make me full of integrity so that I might receive Your counsel; make me righteous that I would have Your favor; help me to be humble so that I will hold onto grace; show me Your wisdom so that my hands will be ready for honor. I choose these keys to freedom, these courses of action above the ways of those who follow their own way. Spirit, please keep me away from crookedness, for I would never want to be detestable in Your eyes; block wickedness from my ways because I do not want any curses on my life or my family; please help me not to be arrogant or mock others or be scornful - I don't want Your scorn; and Father, please help me not to choose folly because humiliation and shame are not my goals. I want to follow You, Jesus. And I desire above anything else to be near You, walking in Your ways and not the ways of the wicked or deceitful. You are Worthy, Lord. I need Your help, Your fresh freedom and mercy today. I choose once again to receive Your gifts and to cooperate with whatever You want to do in me. Thank You for the choice. Help me to make good ones today.

I choose, I vow to follow You.

Follow {my one word for 2014}

I've asked and prayed through another list of words this January, and Follow rose to the top. 

It's what He wants me to do and live and be. I'm nervously excited. 

Last night I read the passage about the practice of two goats to my son. In the days of Moses the Israelites began a ceremony in which one goat was sacrificed as a burnt offering and the other was banished into the desert to die after having been bestowed with the sins of all God's people. My boy, the funny-deep one laughs.

"That goat must have just fallen over, Mom."

I chuckle, confused. "Huh?"

"Those people had a lot of sin. They even lied about the golden calf they worshipped. 'Uuhh, they gave me their necklaces and this thing just appeared out of the fire...' " We're both cracking up now, even though I know it was far from hilarious at the time. "That goat had all the sins of the people on his head? He must have been like ..." and he gets up on his knees in his bed and does a faceplant into his pillow. I can't contain myself. Our laughter fills the house.  

After we pray and I kiss him, I walk down the stairs in shock. Sometimes I wonder if this goofy boy hears anything I'm saying through his constant bouncing and running and clowning. And then he'll shock me with a depth of understanding beyond my own. It's crazy-true and I shake my head. He really gets the weight of sin. Do I?

And I recall again with heavy gratitude another Scapegoat. The One who carried cumbersome sin of generations, of all. My sin, weighted on His head as He trudged, cross bearing down on His shoulders. Sent out of the city to the wilderness trash-heap. This Pearl of greatest worth trampled by sin-swine, Who followed orders from a heart compelled by the Father's love. 

And I know this year of learning to follow will take me there too. 

For God is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment. Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you. For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. - 1 Peter 2:19-21 (NLT)    [emphasis added]

 Isn't that what we all want? For God to be pleased with us? And I read this morning how and why that happens. He accepts us because His Son paid for us, and He is looking at Jesus covering me when He sees me. And He is pleased. I'm accepted and loved by Him, even if by no one else. And it's enough. By far.

"When identity is not drawn from a performance – but drawn toward a Person, the person of Jesus – this is the place where a life makes music. If your performance is fueled by a need for acceptance, that is what burns your life out." -Ann Voskamp

Lord, teach me what it is to truly follow You. I long to release un-surrendered sin, un-confessed fear, un-known reservations. I desire reckless abandon to Your voice, and I want to chase after You, step in Your footprints, walk in Your ways. I need Your help and guidance, but today I vow to cooperate with whatever Your Spirit wants to do in me; I vow to follow You. You are my Example.