It's the Little Things {Thankful on Thursday}

If you've been with me for a while, you know the drill. We choose gratitude together every day and help each other see the gifts with eyes looking at the Giver. On Thursdays I we share a few of these gifts here. And if you're new here in the nest, I should tell you that choosing joy and a life of thanksgiving was a turning point for me when I was in a really bad way a few years ago. A friend gave me a book that I now recommend to everyone I can about giving thanks and, well, you really just have to try it. 

One important thing to share with my new readers is that I count these gifts, like counting the ways He loves me. 

I had recently spent three weeks of the summer away from my children (the longest yet) while they were living it up with the grandparents. There may or may not have been excessive ice cream and chocolate involved. I'll never know. But when K caught a glimpse of my gratitude journal among my book stack, she asked, "Have you gotten to 5,000 yet?" At first I had no clue what she was talking about. Five thousand times I've agonized over this transition? Five thousand times I've wished God would just go ahead and hurry up already? Five thousand words I've shouted at Daddy because I'm tense and he's the closest thing I have to a scapegoat? Five thousand reasons I hate packing? "Five thousand what, honey?" I finally ask.

"Five thousand gifts, Mama." 

Oh, that. "Let's see - nope, not quite. But almost."

Leave it to my tween to bring me down to earth. Back to sanity.

Because gratitude is the door to joy and joy is the antidote to all this insanity surrounding me.

So, without further ado - a few gifts from my list. But, please - don't just read mine - add your own too in the comments below. Let's encourage one another's hearts as we point with hands full of gifts to the Giver who is so generous. 

- generous love offering from T&C, neighbors who love with words and deeds

- a delicious burger at a new restaurant, and fun birthday celebration with family

- giving baby B her bottle, and sweet wrinkle-nose faces

- news from afar, and the amazing way You sustain my heart afloat with hope

- deep riches, promises, love found in Isaiah 43 - every delicious morsel of Your word

- PL's sermon about bitterness, and his challenge to forgive rather than sit in a "hot-tub full of pus" [no lie - that was his analogy!]

- getting to meet interesting people with astonishing testimonies at a church picnic

- laughing with J about the "dirty rotten bird" who had the audacity to sing outside his window and wake him up

- "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven." -John 3:27

- long talks with old friends

Lord, thank You for all of this and so much more. Thank You for Your generosity, and for giving me everything I have, tangible and not. You love me far more than I deserve and if I could give it all back to honor You, I would. For now I have this - Thank You. Let it be enough.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ― Epicurus

Sabbath Bread {Content with Calvary}

"And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left."

-Luke 23:33 (NKJV)

"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have."

- Philippians 4:11 (NLT)

"Often the bitter herbs of Gethsemane have taken away the bitterness of your life, the scourge of Gabbatha often has scourged away your worries, and the groans of Golgotha have produced unthinkably rich comfort for you. We would never have known the full height and depth of Christ's love if He had not died, nor would we  have even been able to guess of the Father's deep affection if He had not given His Son to die." -Charles Spurgeon

Lord, I have You. Your ransom of my soul is what You wanted to give me. I want to learn like Paul did, the secret of contentment, of joy - wanting nothing more than my Sovereign King gives me. Wanting what I have and letting it be enough. Calvary - Your brutal death and abundant bloodshed to pay for my forever with You - is enough. It covers not only my failures, but all I could ever desire.

Thankful on Thursdays {and a little about comfort}

"It seems the last thing we do when depressed is turn to God. But for believers, He should never be the place of  'last resort.' " - Jim Reimann

Guilty.

Well, not today, but I have been there, believe me. It's like I see this pattern in my life and I hate it, but can't break out of it sometimes. I have been desperate, discouraged, depressed, disparaging, and pretty much every other d- word you want to add, all at the same time, spiraling me down into a pit of darkness that seems to be without escape, once again. And I see myself falling, as if watching myself outside of myself, and do you know what myself does? She scrambles for everything but Jesus. 

Sweets, sleep, venting to friends, taking my frustration out on my husband or kids, caffeine, exercise, obsessive cleaning, crafting, weeping, scrounging, web-wandering - and tons of other attempts to take my own comfort into my own hands and will myself to feel better and do better and be enough ... shew! I'm exhausted just thinking about it, aren't you?

I've learned a break-out-of-the-spiral-free trick, though. At first it took me getting all the way down to the bottom and having to cry out to Him in desperation, but through constant practice I've been trained my the Master in the fine art of how not to scramble, how not to use Jesus as a last resort. Because that's just ridiculousness, that's what it is!

Why would we ever choose to make turning to God our last resort when He is the One who offers it best, most, and to the uttermost? 

"God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort." -2 Corinthians 1:3b (NLT)

And my trick? You guessed it - 

Gratitude

Because since I started counting my gifts from God, the ways He loves me and gives me little pieces of joy every. single. day., well - since gratitude became my habit, I find the comfort I need at the top of the spiraling slide instead of at the bottom of the dark pit, and I find He gives me the strength to step back from the edge and rest in His arms without having to go through the exhaustion. And while I know I have been and can still be guilty at times of choosing Jesus as my last resort, I have also found that it doesn't HAVE to be that way. The other day I felt it - the onset of another cloud of depression. Instead of clawing for comfort with my hands, though, I chose to open them. To look at what He was giving just then, and thank Him for it. Write it in my running journal (I just passed #4,000 this week and had to make myself journal #13 -sooo lucky!), and keep counting the comforts from the Source of all comfort, My Father. 

And lest you go jumping off the conclusion bridge and think I'm bragging or something insane like that, let me just tell you - it's not me. He had to do this, show me this, teach me this, give me this. I would not know this anti-depressant called gratitude if not for my Savior and His glorious love-grace. I would know no comfort outside of His, and yet because I do know it - I would really like to share it with you too. 

So here are a few of my counted blessings, for which I've chosen to thank and praise the only One worthy, and I hope you are counting by now too. Because that spiral to darkness and despair is not one I'd wish on my worst enemy, much less my precious reader. Count with me, Dear One. This gratitude is our tether to hope. Let us choose to make Him what He is - the Alpha and Omega, our first, last, and only resort for comfort.

- fluffy snowflakes, and the courageous song of one bird this morning

- hugging J tight before he goes off to school, and these arms to hold him

- "... no one has ever done more to show you the you were unloved than God has done to show you that you are loved." - Beth Moore, on the sin of unbelief [in Breaking Free]

- laughing with T about our common difficulty with people who don't finish their sentences

- this novel on my Nook, and enjoyment of a page-turner 

- the warmth beneath heavy blankets

- the privilege of helping my Guy

- for this sustained focus in my thoughts on heaven and on You - it's been weeks now ...

- for Your forgiveness again today, and Your Blood that cleanses to the uttermost

- sharing a verse with K on our new chalkboard

- the privilege to write for others who ask

- "I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering." -Isaiah 48:10 (NLT) 


Lord, once again this is my gratitude - not only my survival tether, but my worship - and the benefits go both ways until we are united as one in this dance of grace. I ask that You help keep me here, and show others the way to make You the first resort to comfort instead of the last. You are so worthy, Father. And we are so thankful. Amen

photo credit: Donna Brok

Care to share a couple of your counted blessing-tethers also? Please slip them right into the comments box below, and add your praises rising...

Thankful on Thursday {without anxiety}

I pull out the Scripture-printed leaf at random from my bag of gratitude verses. It's perfect, as if The Holy Spirit handed it to me Himself:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

And of course I have some anxious thoughts to lay down at the Cross today. Some days are harder than others.

But it's every situation that needs prayer (surrender), petition (asking the One who can and does provide), and thanksgiving (gratitude for who He is and everything He gives). This is the way to submit requests to the God who set the stars in place and keeps every atom of my frame. Truly the only way to approach Him with the honor He deserves. 

It's hard times like this when I need gratitude most. So why has my journal not been filling as fast these past few weeks? How can I remind my soul that I need to thank? That it's the best coping I have ...

Eucharisteo. Thankful joy for grace given from on High. Eight english words I just had for one in Greek. And that's just what gratitude does: reduces my focus back from all the anxious what-if's into the surrender of thank-You. Peace I couldn't manufacture. Stability only He offers.

On Thursdays I share a few of my counted gifts. I've found counting them keeps me thanking, and I hope the same joy for you. If you haven't ever started a journey to seek joy on the path of gratitude, I encourage you to begin today, because it's today when He's giving something to you. Do you see it? Are your hands open? Will you secure the holding of it by saying thank-you to Him before the devil snatches it away? Here are a few of my counted blessings - I hope they will inspire you to start (or keep) counting too!

- a little toddler carrying a baby-doll in the parking lot to the grocery store

- affordable glasses for J, and that we live in a nation where he can get them ... and also for insurance and health care

- inspiration for some bookmarks made from my paper scraps, and the freedom to get the paper back out again

- "Perhaps life on this fallen earth is no longer meant to be perfect, but we were meant to trust the One who is. Suffering is God's tool to expose our false belief, and the mess in intended to drive us back to the only sure hope we can have." - Gary Thomas [in Authentic Faith]  

- fat squirrels chasing each other in the rain

- homemade caramel pop-corn

- funny games with my toddler-niece at the table: "Whose belly is this?!"

- this invitation to follow You that humbles me. Floors me.

- tiny squeaks and snuggles with my newborn-niece - nothing fixes hurt hearts like baby-fixes, Lord. Pure therapy - thank You.

- "Fearing people is a dangerous trap,but trusting the Lord means safety." - Proverbs 29:25

- hope (a precious gift in and of itself) expectant - waiting for good; Your definition of good

- free Beth Moore books on my new Nook - and time to read at work

- K & J fighting over a "blessing" at the store - You have a good sense of humor, Jesus

- for daily bread, and daily Bread; enough for my tummy and my soul

- sudoku, and the gift of mindless stress-relief

-  “But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel on that day,” says the Lord. “I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people." - Jeremiah 31:33 (NLT)

- laughing and catching up with R again at Panera

- this veil to protect my heart

-  "Your need seems great to you, but it is nothing for Me to bestow on you. Help you? Fear not! If you had a mere ant at the door of your granary asking for help, it wouldn't bankrupt you to give him a handful of your wheat. And yet, in comparison, you are not even a tiny insect when you stand at the door of My all-sufficiency. 'I myself will help you.' (Isaiah 41:14)" - Charles Spurgeon 

Lord, You deserve my utmost gratitude, for You give abundantly every day, every hour, every breath. Jesus, I am thankful again today and I pray You will be honored and praised through this counting. May You use these words to inspire others to praise You as well in their own looking, counting, thanking, praising. You alone, Oh God are the Giver we seek. You alone hold our hope and our strength. I am so thankful for You. 

Thankful on Thursday {for words}

Little can move me more than words can. It's why I read and listen and write most hours of my day. Imagination stirs in the pages of a novel, lines of a poem halt preconceived notions, lyrics of a song lift this heart to my Maker. Journals, non-fictions, lectures about bigotry and sermons about hope. Most of my gifts for which I'm thankful include words in some form, and I'm struck by my blindness and the way I have taken language for granted. What miraculous power God has and gives in words. 

Last week my ten-year-old asked me what the F-word means. I had banned a song from his playlist because it said, "Mutha-Fo" and I told him that it was another form of the F-word, which we may never say. And I get it that his natural, subsequent question would be, "Well, what does it mean when people say it?"
I stammer.
"Why, have you heard someone saying it? What did they say?"
He stammers now.
"I mean, like, why do they say, 'What the F-' or what does that mean?"
"Well, it means the same as when you say, 'What the heck'."
He's still confused. Trying to piece together in his still-concrete thinking why swearing exists. I ponder concrete shoes and millstones and pray for peace answers. Why do people use certain words when there are perfectly good others that aren't quite so nasty or vile or degrading? It's not connecting for him yet, so I keep driving and ask the Spirit for help. I try again.
"What makes a swear word aren't the letters in the word. It's the heart of the person behind the words coming out of their lips.That's what really matters. Most of the time when people swear, they're either angry out of control or they're not taking their words seriously or honestly enough. And that's not really honoring God, now, is it?"
"No." He stares straight forward and the snowflakes keep falling on the windshield.
"Who made your mouth, Son?"
"God." It's every sunday-school answer but I'll take it.
"Right, and who gave us words?"
"Jesus."
"Uh-huh, and why did He do that?"
"Idunno." He chuckles and then so do I.
"Because He wanted to give you a choice to choose good. And that means filling your mouth with praises and prayers and telling other people about the Gospel of Grace. That's why He gave you a mouth and words."
"Then why do people swear?" 
And how do I answer? It's like he's asking why do people do stupid things or why do people sin? Why are people human? Is there an answer to that one?
"Well, Bud - we all have a choice, but the devil wants us to choose wrong. He takes God's good gifts and he makes them gross, twisted, and evil."
A light comes on in his eyes. I glance over and catch the flash. "Yeah, he destroys everything, huh?"
"Well, not everything. But a lot. You know what I think swearing is like, especially words like that?"
"What?"
I glimpse the curiosity like a rope binding his heart to mine and I know God's here, right here, in the car, doing this, right now. I've got my son's heart and he's open to the love and wisdom God's pouring through me. I go for it.
"It's like putting poop in your mouth."
"Ew." 
"Yeah, not a good choice, huh?"
"Ew." He's struck. He can't get over the image. I'm kind-of glad.
"God made your mouth to be full of His praise, Son. The devil wants to put disgusting poopy words in your mouth, and they're not only the traditional cuss words. With an evil heart you could make anything a cuss word, if you try. The point is not always the word, it's what you're really saying. But I know you want to make better choices than that, right?"
We're almost to the school now, and my fleeting instruction time is almost gone. Will this be a moment he'll remember when he's eighteen, when he's forty? I ruffle his hair and he brushes back my hand.
"Yeah, mom. I do." And the way he pauses, stares - I can tell he's changed, convicted.
He puts the mirror down and fixes his hair.
A smile creeps across my face and inside I'm full of gratitude and humility. What a privilege it is to be His vessel. I had no idea when I'd woken up that morning that the Holy Spirit wanted to encounter my son's need for an understanding of holy speech and precious words. But He saw it - every bit of it - before it all. All I had to do was pray and open my mouth. He really did the rest, the teaching, the piercing.

And what joy to feel my mouth full of His wisdom words! I never would have guessed that would be the image needed to convict my boy's heart, but in His infinite wisdom, God knew it would take a disgusting image to display a disgusting choice and call a sin a sin. He can do that, you know.

That's why I'm convicted, too. Shattered in repentance at the fecal matter that has filled my mouth, and more than ready to spit it all out and rinse with holy mouthwash-praise. Eager to proclaim gratitude and thanks. A few of my word-thanks today:

- "What you say can mean life or death.
    Those who speak with care will be rewarded." -Proverbs 18:21 (NCV)

- precious words of wisdom from my mentor, Cathy

- pediatrician proclaiming good news - we haven't had to see him since our last physical!

- reconciliation, the conversation, the ministry, the actual doing of it

- all of Your Word - full of intercession and promises and hope

- message for fresh strength for today (Isaiah 40:31)

- "The only real difference in Paul's life is that he became centered on the freedom of Christ's presence, which enabled him to love God by serving others instead of being obsessed about his own religious achievements." - Gary Thomas in Authentic Faith

- reading The Hiding Place [Corrie ten Boom] to K, and showing her another side of history - the side of love

Lord, thank You for words. Language is so precious. Wield Your Sword in me today again. Show me more of what it means to choose my words well and to opt for that which is precious and not what is worthless. I love You, Jesus. You are worthy of us all choosing our words well.

Sabbath Bread {the good things - my reason to sing}

"Let all that I am praise the Lord;

    with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.

 Let all that I am praise the Lord;

    may I never forget the good things he does for me.

 He forgives all my sins

    and heals all my diseases.

He redeems me from death

    and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

 He fills my life with good things.

    My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!"

-Psalm 103:1-3 (NLT)

Thankful {how to be every day}

I never want to allow gratitude to morph into a trendy slogan.

Thanksgiving is a popular thing to do on the fourth Thursday in November. I see people choosing gratitude daily in November.

I love the praise going up to God as we look for His gifts and turn to His face with gratitude on our lips and in our hearts. We enter His courts, bask in His presence, and are changed in His love.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays; I JUST love it. The joy of praising God for His goodness in faith and not doubt fills the room and permeates my being along with the fragrance of rich feasting food. I want to bottle up that spirit and save it for a cold, snowy day in February, when the gloomy clouds bear down and permeate my soul with frigid gusts.

Turns out - I can.

Not in a jar, but in a journal.

When we write down the blessings, gifts, goodness all around - we capture the warmth of joy in thankfulness nets. When I count His love on paper I can seal it as if it were in stone. And it's mine.

Thank you, precious reader for the privilege of sharing a few of my gifts and praising God in the nest here, today on this Thankful Thursday. Please feel free to slip a few of your own praises in the comments box below, and let us glorify His goodness together with our thanks.

- for rescuing 56 slaves yesterday, and helping the raid to be so successful, even though it had been previously tipped off. Thank You, Jesus for freedom, and freedom shared.

- a class full of young writers, enjoying the process of creation with words

- fresh, clean laundry

- time to browse at the library

- meditation that sustains through a fast better than bread

- sharing victory with L over the phone, and her prophetic word of healing for our group

- Mr. S letting me teach a grammar lesson

- money to put into the bank

- bright pink clouds of a sunrise, stretching so very far along the expanse

- a conversation with my son about Your plan for his life - and goodness that follows obedience

- chatting and laughing with K after school

- honeycrisp apple

- a warm wool sweater on a windy day

- Isaiah 1 - your grace to rescue, cleanse, and bless Your people

- sweet kisses from children

- Your anointing over prayer, like a mist of hope, drifting into the room where we call on Your Name

- this song, her voice, Your astounding Grace


Lord, thank You. I am overwhelmed.

Thankful on Thursdays {what a little gratitude can do}

Our hands can teach us amazing truths.

My mother taught my toddlers to count five fingers and five blessings every day. It's still a part of our bed-time ritual, even as they approach adolescence. 

Because gratitude opens our hands and our eyes to see God.

... chronic worry drives a wedge between us and God. ... Fortunately, we can banish fear and worry. I've seen the treatment work time and time again in the lives of my patients. They have shown me that a constant attitude of thanksgiving breaks the grip of fear. These patients, in addition to facing their own surgery, may have family members who are dying; they may have financial problems; or they may be struggling in a personal relationship. They're certainly sad at times as they grapple with the problems in their lives, but they're not worried. They're thankful for God, and they continually feel His presence. They are thankful for all of the ways He provides for them, including the surgery that will help them. Because of their faith, they can look beyond their struggles and see God at work. They have the same concerns and problems any of us face, but they choose not to worry. They choose to be thankful.   - James P. Gills, MD in Rx for Worry: A Thankful Heart

I couldn't say it better.  

Every day I count. Thursdays I share a few. Please feel free to glorify God by slipping a few of your own counted blessings in the comments section below. Because we can choose this.

- a little boy in a brown suit and striped beanie - dancing at the coffee shop

- fun studying spelling words in the car with J

- the variety of color on the trees this year- hills ablaze with leaves like a beautiful flame

- you are my Constant: like the guarantee of math concepts - always true, always the same, never unfaithful

- the "magic" of repentance and reconciliation - this, our ministry

- strength I need to stand my ground instead of clamming up or giving up

- K & J - pleasant and precious, every day

- for purchasing the right to be sovereign over me, with Your Blood. I give you the control you own again this morning

- adorable little girl with black hair and slanted eyes, enjoying a bagel and cream cheese, licking the creamy knife, all absorbed in her breakfast

- testimony of a friend, how You spoke to her through a song in church and put Your love on full display

- a Ugandan slave, rescued by my Bravo Team

- L opening up in my Life Group - being vulnerable, shedding tears, our sacred group becoming a safe place to share pain

- Your grace - enough. Even for this.

- J working hard with his sparring buddies at Jiu Jitsu 

- "Take control of what I say, O LORD, and guard my lips. Don't let me drift toward evil or take part in acts of wickedness. Don't let me share in the delicacies of those who do wrong." -Psalm 141:3-4 (NLT) ... and a poem through my hand - Your encouragement to keep me firm and strong.

- sunlight through the slats, making planks of gold on the table beside me

- "Life is worth the living, just because He lives" 

Thank You

Jesus - thank You for all of this I could never earn, never deserve, never be worthy of. Thank You for love, the source of Your great grace. Thank You for dispelling my worry and fear as I choose gratitude, and for teaching me how to cope with life's worry and pain this way until Your return. You have my all.

Thankful on Thursdays {my coping mechanism}

I've been thinking a lot lately about how one of the elements that sets us apart as humanity, our mind, can be so powerful - for evil or for God. Every once in a while it seems like a really bad idea to me that God would let us be in charge of our own thoughts and desires. Really, Jesus? Free will? You sure about that one?

His faithfulness and sovereignty reassure me again, through these doubts.

Love is only true if it's a choice.

I was reading some articles and blog posts the other night about mental illness. I attended a training for work about the spectrum of autism. And then I was pondering the effect hormones have on a person, from adolescence to menopause and every cycle in between. (Yes, I do work in a middle school and I have a few menopausal friends, too - all in the midst of my own monthly psychosis.) I'm wondering what grief and trauma and abuse and addiction have to do with our choices and effectiveness for Christ. Suddenly I don't really know what "sane" looks like.  

Deep breath. In. Out. 

We'll get through this. We can cope and still love each other. Still love God.

Because if there's one thing I know - gratitude is still good coping.

When the world around me spins and shifts; when people I love act completely out of character and I still can't figure out why they just keep on stabbing me; when I get off the phone with a church member and think what just happened?!; when children and adults thrash and crash ... one thing grounds me. One thought centers the chaos. One question I ask actually does have an answer.

What has He given me now?

So much. Why, just last night the answer to that question was water in my faucet. Did you know that technically, even our toilet water is potable here in America? If that brotherly love doesn't shock you, try living in Haiti.

"And I come, eager to offer a sacrifice of gratitude

    and call on the name of the Eternal." -Psalm 116:17 (VOICE)

While choosing gratitude won't solve all of my problems, or yours for that matter, it does help me cope. Keeps me going. Keeps my chin up. 

If He's still giving me gifts, He still loves me. And there's still hope.

Here again are a few of the graces I've counted recently. And yes, I do count them. I'm in the thousands now, though if I could write them all, I would be in the billions. Yes, He does love me that much. And that, Dear One, is the sanity I hold. I invite you to share a few of your thankful gifts in the comments below today, too. Thursdays we count together, but I hope you're counting every day, because it's the best coping I know in a crazy world this side of paradise. If you want help to know how to start, try this girl, who literally wrote the book on how to find joy in gratitude.

Lord, I'm thankful for:

- finding J reading on his own yesterday at the breakfast table. I really have waited a long time for him to love books.

- my finger, helpless against the urge to point out all these gorgeous trees turning their dresses into glorious golds and scarlets

- cozy socks in my boots

- giggles with my students

- three lovely ladies, all ready for growth in our life group that starts tonight

- pumpkin bagel for lunch

- a good book, and the strength to tune out the cacophony of chaos in the 6th grade cafeteria

- this quote: "We stay busy at work, while people all around us are ripe and ready to be harvested; we do not reap even one of them, but simply waste our Lord's time in over-energized activities and programs ... Our Lord calls us to no special work - He calls us to Himself. 'Pray the Lord of the Harvest' [Matt. 9:38], and He will engineer your circumstances to send you out as His laborer." - Oswald Chambers [emphasis added] ... and the desire You've placed in me to focus all this frenzy into prayer

- "Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (Msg)


Your turn ...

Thankful Thursday {when I open these hands}

[... back to blogging today. Because sometimes I type and publish and other times I think and pray. And, thankfully, there's grace for that too.]

The sunsets are so beautiful these recent Fall days. Brilliant, shocking color. "Are you seeing this?!" I text a friend and ask my daughter. I don't want them to miss God's glory, God's moment, His right now gift. The heavens declare His glory.

And so do these trials.

Could it be that The Spirit's hand is at work, giving wisdom, comfort, character, enduring love - in the sunsets and the struggles alike? Oh yes, and if I'll open my hands to Him, I'll see it too. All this loveliness, all these gifts. I won't be able to contain my thanks. It will be my persuaded response. Faith.

Here are a few of the gifts I've written down and thanked Him for recently. I welcome you to add your own below in the comments portion also. Because He is worthy of our gratitude. Every day, every breath.

- a text photo of my happy brother - joy apparent in his eyes

- This book on my Kindle - an amazingly encouraging read

- "Stay at the Source, closely guarding your relationship with Him, and there will be a steady flow into the lives of others whit no dryness or deadness whatsoever ... Yet some of us are like the Dead Sea, always receiving, but never giving because our relationship is not right with the Lord Jesus. ... If you find that His life is not springing up as it should, you are to blame - something is obstructing the flow." - Oswald Chambers

- plenty of beds and blankets

- a good laugh after a rough day with my MIL over text

- "I can remember my fears, and doubts, and sad months with comfort; they are as the head of Goliath in my hand." - John Bunyan (autobiography)

- inspiration to follow You through anything, like the 11 who were left with You at the Last Supper, and the women who went with You to the Hill

- Gail M, her wise words, her sense of humor, and the funny way she talks to herself

- the way You put people in my life whom I can trust, and speak through them the words I could only receive from someone I know loves me

- these verses, and Your amazing confirmation of righteous love-law

- enough food - provision for the month

- pretty paper and ribbon turned into new gratitude journals for C's small group

- for my health, not taken for granted, or anything I'm entitled to. It's a gift, not a right, to be healthy and have health care.

- instruction from Your Word to pray for rebellious sinners who dishonor You and Your anointed leaders, not to rebuke them (though that would be my instinct). Your promise to give them life if I will just pray. And that You forgive me and give me life when I repent of my rebellion also.

- J's bold prayer at See You at the Pole, even among the older students

- hard eucharisteo of bearing a friend's burden - broken marriage, broken heart, weary strength to keep holding onto You.  Hope of restoration

- time to write letters and cards to relatives and friends

- "Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart." - Psalm 119:111

- endless oil for my lamp, available in Your presence if I'll only come

- baby D, his sweet smile and easy demeanor - the joy of him in the swing while C and I meet

- open doors at a hellhole - sharing Your Gospel with those who don't know You yet. A slow night there, so we could sit in a circle and share our lives and faith journeys - a Life Group in the middle of the devil's camp. You amaze me.

- for giving my Guy the privilege of leading two men to profess their faith in You this week. New souls in your forever kingdom, and Your promise kept to give us an inheritance of souls.

- this song, and the way worshiping You in song can change my heart and mold me to be more like Your Son. Less like my sin

Oh, Lord - You are so worthy of our gratitude. I praise You today with my acknowledgment of all these gifts, of which I am not worthy, to which I am not entitled. Thank You for every day giving to me. Your never-ending blessings never cease to amaze me. Help me to keep these hands open. To the happy, the sad, the easy, and the difficult. I know You only give me good - that which You are working for good in me. I do trust You, Spirit. I do believe. Help my unbelief with the demonstration of your goodness in all these gifts.

Thankful Thursday {gifts that never stop}

"My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You’re deeply rooted in him. You’re well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you’ve been taught. School’s out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving." - Colossians 2:6-7 (Msg)

A day  and another, turning to months and seasons and years of babies turning into girls and boys, maturing into young men and women. An adolescent I have known as a boy walks past me and I gasp. When will I stop being shocked by this?

Hopefully never. Development is miraculous, and we're not human if we're not changing. This maturation just one of so many gifts that draw awe and thanks. My prayer for you, for me, for all of us - that we would open our hands to the Giver and open our mouths to give thanks.

Every day I count my blessings. Not because I have to or ought to or am begrudgingly obliged. No - and not because some religious teacher said I have to. I count because I breathe, and gratitude is the best coping I know in this world so full of His glory and so full of evil-sorrow. I write them because I don't want to forget, because it's what I do and how I work - in words. I count the gifts because I worship. I worship because the Giver gives gifts, not the least of which His Son hanging on a cross and Resurrected to redeem. If He gave Him, how will He not give me all I need and want? [see Romans 8:32] Indeed He will. Indeed He does. Here are a few of my recent counted gifts. Please feel free to share what you're thankful for, too, Dear Heart. Let us enter His courts with thanksgiving

- K asking me for a meet-up at the park. It's nice to be invited, Lord.

- for seeing my tears and feeling my pain, and the way You calm my fears an fill the holes of my loss. Again today.

- a nice afternoon with A, K, C, and R - new friends

- putting a puzzle together with a 3-year-old

- for providing a way out - the Way of Grace

- for filling me with the trust I need, when I know I need more

- walking at Roaring Run with the family, and talking to each of my children about heaven and eternity. Their intriguing ideas about what paradise will be like

- birds that look like frogs until they fly

- the scent of the the morning dew, the sight of mist rising before the dawning pink, and the voice of a sister - you flood my senses with blessing this morning

- that You call me Your friend, and show me how to be a great friend with a great love for You - by loving others (John 15:9-17)

- a visit with C&T (neighbors), and the privilege to pray healing for each of them, and listen to their testimony of Your goodness

- Sweet Betty, and her simple gratitude for life and her family

- pleasant colleagues at a new workplace

- for L, who checks up on me, and asks about my ministry, caring for me like You do

- encouragement from C to keep walking toward You, and not allow anyone or anything to rob me of the joy it is to serve You

- K sharing her funny, awkward, fun, nervous times of her first week of school. I'm so thankful she still tells me these things. I pray she always will.

- for leading J and I to the same chapter at the same time, and for getting us on the same page - literally - before we pray together

- brisk morning for jogging and connection with You

- Your Word - my delight, that which fills and stabilizes and comforts. 


Oh, Lord - how I love You. You give grace, joy, peace, gifts large and small. Every day, every moment, every breath. You are so worthy of my gratitude, for I owe it all to You alone. Would You please take my life, and make it worthy of You call, worthy of Your death and life, worthy of the Name by which I call myself Yours. Every gift is from You, regardless of the appearance or my attitude toward it at the time. I surrender myself to You. May You be praised through my words, deeds, thoughts, and speech. I want nothing more than to please You

Thank You, Jesus.



And you, Dear Reader - for what are you thankful for today?

Thankful, Even for Scarring.

I'm not gonna lie. Gratitude isn't always an easy path to follow. Sometimes even in the counting of graces, the numbering and journaling become painful scratches when once they were rolling, fanciful scrawls. And herein lies the test of strength.

But strength is often greater where we've been hurt. Where we've got scars.

I was dancer in my younger years. A ballerina, I like to think, but probably just a wannabe. From the time I was old enough to ride a bike until the day I walked across the stage in a cap and gown, I donned tutus and slippers when other girls were kicking soccer balls and back flips. When I was old enough (maybe twelve?) my beloved teacher, who adored me so much she screamed at me to point my toes and straighten my arms, said I could get pointe shoes. Oh the greatly-anticipated day! 

They ruined my feet.

A dancer's bare feet are the only ugly thing about her. Her feet are always covered. On stage, anyway.

I knew it would happen. The bleeding, the callouses, the pain. To consistently put all of your weight on three square inches of toes when God made heels and balls to bear it -- well, something will pay. 

But oh, how the dance is glorious! Millions around the globe will flock to the awe of beauty contained in a ballerina. When my Guy took me to see The Nutcracker last Christmas, my jaw hung in amazement for suspended moments. You can have your Superman, your Spiderman, and your IronMan - Sugar Plum Fairy is my hero. 

Only a few of us in that audience knew of her scarred toes. Only those of us who have paid long hours of torture to stand suspended on a flimsy, satin-coated box. I've spent more years not dancing now than the years I did, and my feet still bear the marks of pointe shoes. My scars remain, though the pain does not. 

"For everything created by God is good, and nothing should be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving" -1 Timothy 4:4 (HCSB) {emphasis mine}

I wonder how to be thankful for all things, including scars.

Because scar tissue is made of fibers, not skin cells, it does not have hairs, sweat glands or blood vessels. Scar tissue is stronger than ordinary skin and it may look shiny. [ebody.com, Dermatology]

It takes great strength to dance en pointe, and I'm becoming more convinced that strength is equally required for everything worthy or beautiful. And if scars are one source of increased strength, might we even take joy in them? An even greater stretch - could we take joy in the trials that produce strong scars? 

Oh, eucharisteo, what if it made me more thankful to see even this hard joy?

Lord, let it be so.

Penning gratitude is not easy, but it is Simple. I thank Him for all things He makes and gives, knowing all things are gifts, even painful things. I thank Him that with His joyful strength - which often comes via scars, which often come via pain - I can do all things. (see Nehemiah 8:10, James 1:17, Ephesians 4:13) All these gifts, all this loveliness, all this grace, all things I have, He has given. Here are some of my recent gifts on this, Thankful Thursday.

• for making me desperate for intercession, desperate for prayer, desperate for You
• This Song (Brooke Fraser)
• people who are kind
• time to relax
• the way You guard and protect us every day
• painting little B's nails and toes, time with children is never wasted
• a bird nest on Aunt B's porch, the parents flying to feed the babies tucked away, heard but not seen
• a shared daydream with my Guy, and a reminder that You will always braid our futures into one
• my son's tears over divorce of extended family
• legacy of the Langdon family, and the privilege to be a part of it
• PJ's sermon, and the inspiration from Your character to take life in stride
• for the mornings when I can't understand You, and love you more because I can't
• strength from You to keep loving the people who hurt me, and isn't that the measure of your followers? (John 13:35)
• "I think it is right to stir you up by reminding you." -2 Peter 1:13
• the privilege of breath for which to praise You
• fireflies all alight under the trees, rising, blinking in the summer twilight
• "My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing, but Himself, my God." -Oswald Chambers
• a sweet letter and drawing from our lovely Pooja in India
• for waking me up with reminders of my summer goals
• the strength of scars, and gratitude for the pain they come by

Oh God, You know more wisdom and how to apply it than I ever could. You know what I need and You give it. Even when it is not what I ask for - You give me good and I'm thankful. This day is full of Your gifts and Your love, and I refuse to live any other way than thankful for all You give. It is a happy privilege to give You back this - the only thing I have, still the only thing You want ... my heart.

When all we have ... is all He wants

I'm thinking of how to get closer to God, close to His heart, close to that whispering love.

And I'm really wondering just how I'm supposed to draw near to this Invisible One who made the stars, and also the freckles on my son's nose. How to approach this Precious Lamb who put the speckles in my daughter's crystal eyes, and speckled the moon too.

Reaching, grasping, clinging to something more than I have, and still I only come up with this. 

Thank You.

I don't even know why it shocks me anymore, this recurring theme. This what I need, the only piece I have.

The answer already here in my hands, at my fingertips, written in my journal. This is how.

"Let us come before Him giving thanks. Let us make a sound of joy to Him with songs." - Psalm 95:2 (NLV)

And so, again I do. I thank. And before I know it - I'm as near as I can bear, so close to His heart I might be hearing Him breathe.

For these things, Oh Father, I'm thankful. I see that You bless, I receive, and I acknowledge Your great and merciful grace:

- this revelation today: I can open my hands to the grief with courage - knowing it pushes and pulls me back to desperate seeking of Your healing, loving arms of comfort.

- this song, over and over

- the difference You've made in the last year, and that I can look back and see such progress

- water play fun with friends, Blockus, and prayer

- a cardinal pair flitting and flirting together on the fence

- "My strength is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (Msg)

- for Kris - a man who loves me and completes me, and that You made him for that (in part)

- Psalm 77 - and that I can still trust Your faithfulness

- generous neighbors who give to K & J's camp fund

- learned trust in Your healing power over me - the gift of knowing You can

- a beautifully hot day for Field Day

- my cousin's new baby, Mariah - and sweet pictures of her over text

- creative ways to worship when this cold robs my voice

- opportunities for us to sharpen one another, and call each other to Your high standards

- hopeful news about a friend's house still standing through the flames

- for so many gifts, and the inspiration to share them generously: "Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it." - 1 Peter 4:10

Jesus, I am so grateful that You pull me near when I thank and sing Your praise. It's right where I want to be.  In Your presence, and no where else. This cycle so perfect - You give, I thank, You come near, I come close, You heal, I open, You give, I thank. May it never end.