Thursday, June 13, 2013

When all we have ... is all He wants

I'm thinking of how to get closer to God, close to His heart, close to that whispering love.

And I'm really wondering just how I'm supposed to draw near to this Invisible One who made the stars, and also the freckles on my son's nose. How to approach this Precious Lamb who put the speckles in my daughter's crystal eyes, and speckled the moon too.

Reaching, grasping, clinging to something more than I have, and still I only come up with this. 

Thank You.

I don't even know why it shocks me anymore, this recurring theme. This what I need, the only piece I have.

The answer already here in my hands, at my fingertips, written in my journal. This is how.

"Let us come before Him giving thanks. Let us make a sound of joy to Him with songs." - Psalm 95:2 (NLV)

And so, again I do. I thank. And before I know it - I'm as near as I can bear, so close to His heart I might be hearing Him breathe.

For these things, Oh Father, I'm thankful. I see that You bless, I receive, and I acknowledge Your great and merciful grace:

- this revelation today: I can open my hands to the grief with courage - knowing it pushes and pulls me back to desperate seeking of Your healing, loving arms of comfort.

- this song, over and over

- the difference You've made in the last year, and that I can look back and see such progress

- water play fun with friends, Blockus, and prayer

- a cardinal pair flitting and flirting together on the fence

- "My strength is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (Msg)

- for Kris - a man who loves me and completes me, and that You made him for that (in part)

- Psalm 77 - and that I can still trust Your faithfulness

- generous neighbors who give to K & J's camp fund

- learned trust in Your healing power over me - the gift of knowing You can

- a beautifully hot day for Field Day

- my cousin's new baby, Mariah - and sweet pictures of her over text

- creative ways to worship when this cold robs my voice

- opportunities for us to sharpen one another, and call each other to Your high standards

- hopeful news about a friend's house still standing through the flames

- for so many gifts, and the inspiration to share them generously: "Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it." - 1 Peter 4:10

Jesus, I am so grateful that You pull me near when I thank and sing Your praise. It's right where I want to be.  In Your presence, and no where else. This cycle so perfect - You give, I thank, You come near, I come close, You heal, I open, You give, I thank. May it never end. 

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