Thursday, March 21, 2013

a pinch of gratitude

Like a pinch, gratitude can wake me up from this weary slumber.

Ever have those kind of hours or days or even months when you're just trying to make it through?  I have. I do.  The times I have to keep going because to stop is to fail. To rest is to lose ground. To break is to admit you're broken.

It has taken a while, but I can recognize those lies as the devil's.  Because the truth is that God has given me every moment.  To see this one as just another hurdle is to do a great disservice of ingratitude, taking it for granted.  Wasting moments has never been my life's goal, but it has often been what I do.  Trying to get the the next hour instead of really holding onto the gift of this one.

I've learned what it is to hold a moment, and [though I despise formulas] the way to hold a moment is the same way you hold any gift. With gratitude to the giver. Every time I rush a moment I become an ingrate. But every time I thank Him for a moment I become His smile.  For what else happens to a giver when he or she is thanked?

I really only want my life to ever be His reason to smile.  And so I wonder - could I thank Him for every moment without pausing my gratitude?  Would I ever see His smile over me then?

It's worth a try.  And so I thank.  Since it is Thursday, I get to share some of my Father-smiling moments with you again.  What a privilege, Dear Reader. What an amazing privilege.

- an enormous bird of prey, soaring high over bare trees

- writing prompt about rest and the courage to tell a part of my story ... at last the courage

- finishing Soul Detox [Groeschel], and feeling empowered to live this life purified

- hard eucharisteo of these Daddy memories that re-open like scabs

- for my great-grandmother's long life of 95 years, and for Your strength in us to let her go - I know it will be soon and I trust You

- twenty 9-year-olds all quietly engrossed in pleasure reading during library class, and Mr. B's bliss of it

- Anthem by Jake Hamilton [Jesus Culture] ... "I am royalty. I have destiny. I have been set free. I'm gonna shake history!" A glorious reminder of how my identity in You changes everything

- another amazing testimony from prison church service - of souls redeemed, hearts restored, and minds renewed

- watching The Bible on the History Channel with my Guy on the couch

- the hope that You are with me. You are really with me.

- praying with N and R after school, and the miraculous way hearts who are hungry for more of You can connect with one another

- a long day to myself at Starbucks to finish my manuscript - You are truly the Author and Finisher of my faith ... may I be more like You

Jesus, You amaze me.  This moment is full of Your goodness, and it's a gift. What won't stop shocking me is that You have another -both the same in that it is a gift, and different in that it is new - coming for me next.  Help me to keep walking into each moment looking for what You're giving me.  Give me the strength to thank You for Your gifts, even when they are hard to hold or seem bristling at first.  I trust You again today, God.  My hands are ready to praise You.  Thank You for this never-ending love.

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