Friday, March 15, 2013

Fridays are for writing!

I'm linking up today with Lisa-Jo, who does writing prompts on Fridays too - how fun!

Five Minute Friday

Let's do this - freewrite for five minutes about: Rest

Today I learned a new lesson about resting in the Father's arms.  For many years I've been estranged from my father.  I can't find him, though I've looked with all of the diligence a heart can bear. And I've had to surrender that God will allow my dad to find me when the time is right because a good dad always finds his kids.  That one sentence took a full two years to yield to, and, if I'm honest - I'm still not done learning how to do that.  I miss him.  His arms, his rough machinist hands, his kisses on my head, his lap, his voice, his guitar, his amazing blue eyes that held nothing but unconditional adoration for me ... [this prompt is gonna take more than 5 minutes because I need to stop here to cry]  When I think of times in my life when rest was sweet - it's memories of falling asleep in my daddy's arms.  When the clock says 10:22 I pray for him.  That's his birthday.  I long for the rest of being in his arms.  

But I know an even better rest, and it's only from traveling down a dark path in a deep valley that I was able to find it.  It's the rest in my Heavenly Father's arms.  As good as my dad was and still is in my heart - my Daddy in Heaven is even greater.

Last week I lost my kindle.  Left at the school theater after my daughter's play.  And I was so angry at myself.  I fought every day against the negative self-talk that is so perpetuating. "You're so irresponsible - just like a forgetful little kid!  When are you going to learn to take care of your stuff?! How old are you any way?"  Oh how the chiding hurts.  I back my heart into a corner and scream silent wrath to her.  And oh how she cowers ...

And then I was crying this morning in the car, pleading like a little girl for my daddy.  Asking God to comfort me again in the loss of him.  Praying that again He would be all that I need.  Because I know He is, but I need to feel it too.  Over and over, again and again, a new bandage today on an old wound, but if it's still hurting, then He still cares. Though those pleading tears I get a phone call ...

"Hi, this is J. from the Middle School. Is this Robyn?" yes... "We found your kindle."

And it's a flood of racing blood and breath through my cells. I can't keep the words in over the phone - "Oh thank You, Lord!"

And I know it's just a device, but it's more. It's my Daddy. Finding my lost toy and drying my tears, and of course there's still a little girl inside.  Of course she still needs her Daddy, and of course He will always be faithful.  I retrieve my hand-held book that has at least 70 titles in one, including the best - His Word, run back to my car and sob in His arms.  It is there, as always, I find my best rest.

[okay - I cheated. That was longer than 5 minutes.  But such good therapy to declare His goodness in gratitude.]

Feel free to write your response in the comments here, on your own blog with a link back here, or back to Lisa-Jo.

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