Saturday, August 18, 2012
a renewed being
"The Lord’s Instruction is perfect, reviving one’s very being." - Psalm 19:7 (CEB)
Some days are harder than others. The morning breaks and eyes squint open, blinking as muscles reflexively stretch the sleep away. Light peers through the blinds and I'm yawning through the heaviness of yesterday's weighted memories - already too much. And of course His mercies are new, flowing in with the dawn, but I can't seem to break free from what last night left on me.
I'm a morning person. I love the newness of mornings. Possibility. Fresh. Different. Renewed. Bright. Revival.
And even for me, every morning isn't equally hopeful. How about for you? Ever wake up with yesterday's sludge still all over you?
Today I woke up needing revival in my soul. I'm so thankful for my years and experiences that have repeatedly taught me what to DO when I feel that need. So very grateful to My Savior for showing me again and again that waking up heavy and empty all at once is a clear sign I need a certain kind of change that only His Word can give. And oh, yes God - I am so very hungry today.
What I needed is to eat good Bread and so I did. Ezekiel and Jude as I'm praying for souls in India and strength for our team. Psalm 19:7 and Exodus 20 in my devotion. Deuteronomy and Proverbs as I'm learning more about how to use [and how not to use] my words. And how do these authors and books affect my heavy mood?
My soul (nephesh) is truly revived (shub). [Psalm 19:7] My being is renewed. My heart restored.
I feel like myself again. I open my hands of control which have been trying to carry things on my own, and I surrender them before the Cross. I know I can't bear them and so I've stopped attempting the fruitlessness of trying.
And once the Word is in full renewal effect over me, I pray.
“For in prayer you do not depend on your own strength, nor on the good will of another, but only on your trust in God" -Henri Nouwen
And if you've never heard the good ol' formula of turning a heavy heart into a hopeful heart with Bible reading and prayer - well then let me be the first to tell you - it does work.
God, Thanks. Just gratitude again today, because You really do know us so well. You point me and woo me back to You every day, and I know I would truly be crushed without Your Word and Your Spirit to save me. I'm so much more thankful than any song or phrase could convey, though I'll continue to try. Your Word is so alive that sometimes I can't even take it. The glory of it is so astounding, and I'm not even exaggerating. Thank you for your perfect instruction that renews my soul. You make me new today.