Sabbath Bread {Content with Calvary}

"And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left."

-Luke 23:33 (NKJV)

"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have."

- Philippians 4:11 (NLT)

"Often the bitter herbs of Gethsemane have taken away the bitterness of your life, the scourge of Gabbatha often has scourged away your worries, and the groans of Golgotha have produced unthinkably rich comfort for you. We would never have known the full height and depth of Christ's love if He had not died, nor would we  have even been able to guess of the Father's deep affection if He had not given His Son to die." -Charles Spurgeon

Lord, I have You. Your ransom of my soul is what You wanted to give me. I want to learn like Paul did, the secret of contentment, of joy - wanting nothing more than my Sovereign King gives me. Wanting what I have and letting it be enough. Calvary - Your brutal death and abundant bloodshed to pay for my forever with You - is enough. It covers not only my failures, but all I could ever desire.

How to Give Kids {and our own hearts} Answers When There are None

Franklin Regional School District, the place where both of my Treasures attend classes and also where I work, made national news yesterday - for all the wrong and evil reasons.

We parents reel and look each other in the eyes as we pick up our children from lockdown, and it hurts and hurts and hurts. We're all asking the same question and coming up empty - "How could this happen here?" This empty, answer-less void stabs our souls over and over with only more questions unanswerable. 

"How will I explain this to my ten-year-old?"

"How do I send them back into the place of danger that never should have been called that?"

"Why would any child or adolescent in the supposed-happy years of life turn against his classmates?"

"How does this keep happening in our schools?"

"What do we do with this fear? This terror? How do we declare war on children?"

"When will this ever end?"

My Guy and I watch the news when we can, when the Treasures are normal-resilient playing outside on a sunny spring day, and going to bed, thankfully sleepy. We watch the footage of the boy in cuffs and we both say it in shock at the same time - "Look at him - he's just a baby!"

And it's there again - the void of unknown - the question we can't stop asking. How could this happen?

When four are critical, twenty-two are stabbed, two more hurt besides - and the weapons are steak knives in the hands of a child I'm sorry, but there will be no answering of that question today, and maybe not ever. Try as they might, experts and psychologists and crisis analysts won't come up with anything palatable, much less swallow-able.

And my friends and relatives keep asking me - how are you explaining this to them? 

I suppose the answer is - I'm not.

And while I may not have answers to those questions, that doesn't mean I'm without any answers. I still have Truth, and as we sit down at the dinner table after a day of reeling and tears, I bring it with me - the Word. Because when you don't know what to say, you say what He knows. And you give your Treasures The Treasure He graciously pours. 

We tell them what we know. Evil, wrong, angry choices - it's all here on this fallen globe. We'll not escape it as long as these mortal lungs draw breath. Sometimes the best answers come from our own hearts, so instead of telling them, I ask them. Why do you think people hurt others like this? It's my boy who pipes up. "Anger makes people do stupid things." And who can argue? We look up some verses about anger and sin and evil. He's right. Anger is not sin, but it gives Evil a place for his foot in our hearts. (Eph. 4:27)

More of what we know - people need love. And we have been given it. I ask again, hoping they will find the answer in the searching together. How would God want us to respond here? They both answer this time. "Care for them. Pray for them. Tell them about Jesus." One of my Treasures chimes in with this and I'm breathless. Struck. 

"We need to pray for that guy. It will be hard for people to forgive him."

Of course. It's the answer to everything unanswerable. We pray.

Because when we look into the void and the dark pain, we can see past the cavern to the One who holds the Light. And He has the answers we seek, though we might not get them all right now. 

Answers like Forgiveness. Hope. Love. Restoration. 

The developmentalist in me wants to answer the question in my title for you, Dear Reader. I want to tell you if your child is between the ages of x and y, you say z; if she is older than a or b, you say c. And m plus n will equal all better. 

But I can't. Grief has no formula and some questions can only be answered by more questions.

So, I'll leave you with this.: 

Love your Treasures.
Squeeze them tight every day,
Not just the tragic ones.
Give them Truth,
Help them open their hands to It.
Don't pretend you know,
When you don't.
Be there, present.
Look into eyes and listen,
Listen to the heart between the words.
And when the unanswerable hurts,
Bring them to the Healer.

Lord, bring Your answers and Your healing here. Touch lives with hope like only You have. Show us how to love, how to forgive, how to step forward with courage. Pour out Your sovereign comfort as You show us who You are. Please heal these cuts to flesh and cuts to souls. Draw our hearts closer to Yours. Amen

"Commit everything you do to the Lord.
    Trust him, and he will help you.

He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
    or fret about their wicked schemes." - Psalm 37:5-7 (NLT)

Sabbath Bread {A Long Drink of Salvation}

“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,

    “I’ll get you out of any trouble.

I’ll give you the best of care

    if you’ll only get to know and trust me.

Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;

    I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.

I’ll give you a long life,

    give you a long drink of salvation!”

-Psalm 91:14-16 (Msg)

Oh, Jesus - I know my part. 
Hold onto You with desperate abandon,
get to know and trust you while I'm here on this planet, 
and call out to You when I get into trouble. 
If I'll do those things, 
You'll get me out of every mess, 
bring me into Your promise, 
and satisfy my thirst for more than this flesh can contain. 
I am truly undeserving of a Love this abundant, 
yet I open my hands to as much of it as I can hold. 

Thank you Lord. 

Live or die?

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life." 

-Deuteronomy 30:19-20a (NLT) 

The pastor's in the pulpit and his hands wave and dance with his words. He tells us to die, and says he's giving up himself for lent; invites me to do the same. 

Die to this flesh and its endless desires, lusts, prides. Increasing Jesus and decreasing me. 

"This world tells you that you need to 'find yourself.' Well, I did find myself and you know what I found? Yuck!"  Even as he says it, I can't believe it of him, but I know it's true of me. Yes, I've been on a search for me - the real me - and when I found her it was far from what I'd hoped. That woman, that me, she's nothing without her Rescuer. 

This life isn't about soul-searching as much as it's about God-searching. Seek Christ and you seek life. Find Him and you find it all. Forget to knock on His door, and emptiness will be the least of your worries. 

To lay down self and take up crosses - everything worth doing is difficult. 

A teacher at my workplace says it and I know it's true of following Christ too - "If this was easy, everyone would do it, right?"

The pastor goes on about carrying a cross and I'm breathless again with this one - "We're called to carry crosses, not guillotines." We can't crucify our flesh with one quick motion, like a guillotine. Crucifixion was a slow, public, humiliating, painful, lengthy death, that often took days to complete. And this Daily Cross is a process - a painful, long parting with flesh that has no destination short of heaven. Only then will we be glorified in perfection-life. Oh glorious hope!

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow Me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. 

-Mark 8:34-35 (NLT)

Sometimes choosing life means deciding to die.

It's hard eucharisteo to be thankful for the privilege of suffering, of dying with Him, but I'm okay with trying hard things. I can be thankful, even for this, because I know obedience is worth it. He is worth it. I know I've failed before, and I'll probably hold on to too much of myself again - but it's in the not giving up where I think He's pleased with His kids. So will you pray this with me too, Dear One?

Lord, please show me the parts of my life that need to be crucified today for Your glory and my good. Give me the strength and endurance required today to lay down my selfish desires and take up my cross for Your Kingdom. Please heal my heart even as I die a little every day, and revive me in Your presence with joy. Show me what You desire of me, and how to obey You more. Make my life a living sacrifice of love to You. You are worth it - worth the pain and every ounce of suffering. I need no other motivation than Your love. 

Quotes from Pastor Lance Lecocq with permission

Sabbath Bread {When the Trumpet Sounds in the Sky}

"Let us rejoice and be happy

    and give God glory,

because the wedding of the Lamb has come,

    and the Lamb’s bride has made herself ready.

Fine linen, bright and clean, was given to her to wear.”

(The fine linen means the good things done by God’s holy people.)

And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who have been invited to the wedding meal of the Lamb!” And the angel said, “These are the true words of God.”

And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God. It was prepared like a bride dressed for her husband.

-Revelation 19:7-9, 21:2 (NCV)

"His righteousness, His blood, and everything He inherited from the Father He gives as the dowry to us who are known as His bride. So rejoice, dear believer, in your union with Him who 'was numbered with the transgressors,' and prove you are truly saved by living a life that makes it abundantly clear that you are 'numbered with' those who are a 'new creation' (2 Cor. 5:17) in Him." - Charles Spurgeon (Morning by Morning)

Lord, this is our Glorious Hope. Help us live our lives worthy of having been saved. You are worthy.

Follow {with excellence)

Leadership, leadership, leadership. It's all we hear sometimes, and all we talk about. 

Excellence in leadership is crucial to an organization, a government, a family, a church ... any institution, really. And I get it - leaders are important, and excellent leadership can carry us to success just as fast as poor leadership can destroy us. The Bible says a lot about leadership. We have so much to learn from the Leader of leaders, the King of kings. Yes. I get it.

But what about followers? What is to be said about excellent follower-ship? As much as God teaches us about leadership, I'll argue that He has far more to say about following well. 

Because only a few of us are called to lead, but we are all called to follow. With excellence - we're to learn how to follow well, honor our leaders, walk in humility and support and help. Everyone wants to be a great leader but who ever would think of aspiring to be a fantastic follower? 

I, for one, would like to start a movement of excellent followership. Someone once said, "Lord bring revival and start with me." If you know who said it first, let me know - I can't remember or find the person to credit. But I often think it a pray it. I do know it was Ghandi who said, "Be the change you want to see." Regardless of who the leaders were or are - I want to follow in those steps. The steps that walk in humble submission to Jesus and those He has appointed to lead me. My husband. My pastors. My mentors. My parents. My boss. 

Something has been lost in our culture of rugged individualism and we the people. I think that loss saddens the heart of God. Submission has become a dirty word among us and we're in trouble because of it. I'm convinced that God has more instructions in His Word about following well than about leadership.

And I do get it. This doesn't come easy for me. I like power and control just as much as you do. Of all of the control freaks I'd be first in line. Submission and surrender seem like passive things, so why do they require me to work so hard to get them? I just think God has something to say to us about walking behind someone. Behind Someone. 

So how, about it? You there, Reader. The wife who knows it's her role to honor her husband but can't quite figure out how. The employee who desires to submit to his boss but can't stop cutting him down behind his back. The church member who wants to respect his pastor but just keeps trying to get closer to him so he can get a hold of the power and make the decisions. The teenager who knows it's right to honor her mother and father but can't stop the back-talk. The Christ-follower in name but not in deed, who talks the talk in the day but can't seem to walk the walk in the darkness. 

What if we could deny our flesh and become the followers God has promised He'd make us if we'd just cooperate and surrender?

I've got a stack of verses beside me right now about following, and I'm deciding how many I can fit into this post. I'm half-way tempted to squeeze them all in, but I've been in your seat: ready for the punch line, the bottom line ... the point. So I'll get to it. 

“If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you’ll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment’s notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me." - John 12:26 (Msg)

akoloutheó is the Greek work that means accompany, attend, follow

I can either busy myself trying to make God follow my bidding, or I can follow Jesus, ready to serve Him. I may be a leader, but my first job, my first joy, is to follow. To switch the two is to falter and then fall. I don't want to be a fall-er, I want to be a follower. It's there I'll find the Father's reward. Which is all that's really worth reaching for, anyway.

One way to define spiritual life is getting so tired and fed up with yourself you go on to something better, which is following Jesus. - Eugene H. Peterson

What about you? What has God taught you recently about following? 

Book Review {Paid For: My Journey ...}

A few housekeeping issues:
1. Please forgive the sporadic posts and long intervals between - a season of transition for my family makes for inconsistent writing opportunities. Thank you for grace, Dear Reader.

2. This post and others about human trafficking/ sexual exploitation and abuse are not necessarily appropriate for children or youth. Though I believe in teaching the next generation about modern slavery issues, I don't particularly use that filter on all of my posts. I'll be writing more young-audience friendly posts in the near future. If you're under 18, please let a parent read this and give you the age-appropriate cliffnotes version. Thank you for understanding, Young Readers and Parents.

3. My heart is filled with hope as of late - Hope for eternity and good things to come here on earth, too. I pray that your heart will be filled with the same. In His presence is fullness of joy (see Ps. 16:11) May this be said of you, me, and everyone who claims Christ as Lord: 

"And they have defeated him [Satan] by the blood of the Lamb
    and by their testimony.
And they did not love their lives so much
    that they were afraid to die." -Revelation 12:11 (NLT) [emphasis mine]

So without further ado, 

Today I'm reviewing the book Paid For: My Journey Through Prostitution by Rachel Moran, an Irish woman who tells her story in a candid yet gripping memoir that will make a generation question the way we interpret femininity, sex, prostitution, and human trafficking. 

Originally I heard about the book via an audio interview with the author, and knew it was a must-read for me because of my heart for the trafficked. You can catch that interview here. In addition, you can view an interview with the author regarding her views, the book, and her goals here. Perhaps you'd like to come back to these links after you've read my brief (as possible) review below. In any case, I'm hoping that one of these three prompts will cause you to get and read this book because it is absolutely necessary knowledge for anyone who cares about fighting human trafficking, or anyone who cares about humanity for that matter. Okay, yes - that did sound melodramatic (I realize), but I honestly believe the knowledge offered here to the world is simply crucial.

That being said, I'll start with a couple of disclaimers. 1. This book includes a plethora of expletives, all of which will offend my normal readership. I was offended by what I read. But I'll admit, it adds to the truth of the work. Sometimes offense is necessary for those who desire change. Moran is nothing if not honest, and her verbiage must include the vulgar - for she takes us into the darkest of holes in order to shine the light on evil. 2. All of the pages in Paid For may not be helpful in the long-run if you are sensitive and want to keep your thoughts sexually pure. In essence, I would recommend this for women to read and subsequently explain the premise to your guy so you can leave the details out of his mind. Men need to get this, don't get me wrong, and nothing will change until they do. But we can help them to know it without having to know it, and I think you know what I mean. 

Moran begins with her personal and tragic story of how she ended up becoming a prostitute, which was not, as it never is, a matter of choice. The element of choosing to sell oneself or allow another person to sell oneself is one of many myths of prostitution she dispels in the exploration of her own experience and that of others she knew. She writes in detail of brutality, fear, hopelessness, drug abuse, suicide attempts, family dysfunction, and self-identity in a way I found compelling and painful. I was astonished at her mastery over clear and profound exposition - this hero of survival who spent her years being exploited while others were learning. She put herself through college for journalism after she exited prostitution, a feat few have been able to do. Her forceful truth may leave you reeling, and it may anger some who rely on lies to keep doing what they do. 

In addition to the honest memoir, this book is critical for its exegesis of current and proposed legislation on the matter of "sex for sale." A clear proponent of the Nordic Model, Moran explains in depth the Why's and How's of criminalizing the purchase of sex around the world. Her unique perspective from the prostituted is painfully precious to all of us who look for answers to eradicate this ugly smudge on the face of every human alive today. 

"Until the world wakes up to the simple wrongfulness of what prostitution truly is, we're not going to get social change." - Rachel Moran (in the video interview cited above)

And a few quotes from the book that shook me:

"The summation of my experience of prostitution was simply this: I lost myself." 

"If it were not entirely held buoyant by the sexual demands of men, brothels would have no viability and no purpose and no reason to open their doors - or to have any doors to begin with." 

"As a species, the urge to violate is strong within us. It is up to us to be stronger than it is."

"Sexual self-governance is only possible for anyone where they are not influenced to make decisions regarding their sexuality based on circumstances beyond their control."

Happy reading, Dear One! Next time I'll be reviewing something a little lighter, I promise!